People reading this will automatically assume that bullying ends in middle school or even high school, but what they don’t realize is that it continues on into adulthood. Bullying just comes in different forms.

Recently in college, I got a snapchat from this guy telling me how my body was not good enough for him. So it hit me: I realized bullying is still a huge issue even in adulthood, but often times ignored.

In this world, you will encounter thousands of people good and bad. Each person is unique in their own way and has so much to contribute. Sometimes it can be hard to see that when society places so many high standards on beauty and image.

I overhear people around me in the library, at the mall, and school saying things such as “I wish I had a better nose” or “I want bigger boobs” See the pattern here? The grass always seems greener on the other side. What people need to realize is that every single one of us has flaws and insecurities. So if everyone has these flaws, why is there bullying?

The very idea of bullying is based off of the person’s insecurities or fears. In my personal experience, the people in high school that spread rumors about me and made me hate myself were the ones that had the most insecurities extending from hard pasts or brokenness. It was hard for me to understand that I deserved to be confident in myself until I fully grasped that these haters are more hateful to themselves. I realized that sometimes bullying others can be from wanting attention, to an outcry for help.

Bullying does not have to be physical like those televised stereotypes where the big guy always hangs the little kid upside down yelling “where’s my lunch money?” it’s often verbally done, and the damage is more emotional. A small insult can easily affect someone’s entire life. Intentionally saying things to hurt someone is considered bullying.

Sometimes I think to myself, was I a bully at some point in my life? I want to say I'm not a perfect person and though, I personally encountered bullying, I still would say I hurt many people in my life. Hurting someone through hurtful words, judging, ostracizing, these were all things I have done in my life. Acknowledging that I have done those things helps better understand the insecurities in myself and also bettering myself by facing them. I learned to accept my flaws and insecurities. I embraced them and became confident in myself.

The important step in not letting the bullying get to you is by learning to love yourself. It takes time to fully love oneself. It takes a lot of sweat, blood, and tears to become a confident person. Confidence is looking in the mirror and saying, “dang who’s that?” Confidence is when someone insults you and still does not change for that person. Confidence is never allowing someone to step all over you and take advantage of you. Bullying can be conquered, but you have to choose if you want to look at it directly in the eye of the issue and defeat it.