I'm going to be honest with you.

There are some days that I wake up, and I really don't want to read my Bible or have a quiet time. This isn't some new problem that I have. I've struggled with having a consistent quiet time all my life. I have prayed for years that God would give me the desire to have a time of solitude. But nothing has changed. The only encouragement is that I am not alone. Everyone I know is tempted to forgo that precious time in the morning. Even famous pastors such as John Piper describes his struggle as, "I wake up in the morning and the devil is sitting on my face."

Deep down I was very confused. I knew that I wanted to live a life of godliness. I knew that pursuing God would ultimately lead me to finding satisfaction and greater joy than I could ever fathom. I envied the people around me who seemed to have the love of Christ oozing out of everything they said and did. I even read books about following Christ that preached the spiritual disciplines as a way to grow closer to God. I had this longing for all of that. But day after day, I would neglect, make excuses, and purposely "forget" to read my Bible and pray.

I just finished reading a book called Living the Cross Centered Life by C.J Mahaney. In chapter two of his book, he writes on how much we live our lives based on what we feel is truth. He argues that we should be living life on whether or not we believe it regardless of how we feel about it. One of my favorite quotes from the book is:

"The humble are those whose first response to objective truth from God's Word is not to ask, 'How do I feel?' but to say, 'I'm not going to let my faith be determined and directed by the subjective and the experiential.'" The problem is that if we base on our decisions on how we feel at the time, our emotions will always fail us.

The point that C.J. Mahaney makes is that whenever we come to truth in the Bible, we will obey if it is truly what we believe. So what does the Bible say about pursuing God and meditating on His Word? Here are some great verses to memorize.

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night."

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

"For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things."

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

(Psalm 1:2, Psalm 37:4, Psalm 107:9, Matthew 5:6)

I realize now that I have been praying for desires that have always been deep inside me. I have confused my desires with what I feel in the moment. Asking myself the question "Will I believe this?" takes the issue at hand above the influence of my emotions. The amazing thing is that this question doesn't relate just to waking up in the morning and having a quiet time. Asking ourselves "Will I believe?" translates to all decisions made to follow God. Emotions are not some uncontrollable force that wreaks havoc on my life. For the first time, I know that I can control my emotions.

The battle is raging among us. We are so often blinded by temporary happiness and sorrow. Are we going to rise above the noise and listen to the voice of God calling us to Him? Are we going to believe what He has declared is true and run to Him?