After waiting 365 days after seeing Fifty Shades Darker, I could not wait a moment longer before seeing the final movie of the trilogy. After seeing Fifty Shades Freed, I am both sad the series is over and pleased with the way it ended. We get a glimpse at the very end of the happy life Anastasia and Christian go on to lead, along with their little family they start during the final movie. While watching the movie this weekend, I had 10 very relatable thoughts pass through my mind that are probably thoughts everyone else had while watching the movie, too.

1. Where is my Christian Grey?

What does a girl need to do to find a man like that? He’s smokin’ hot, romantic, protective, and rich— not that money is everything, but it certainly helps. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy that is as head-over-heels for her as Christian is for Ana.

2. Ugh, Anastasia’s life is MADE

She has the perfect husband, extreme financial security, one of the best views in Seattle available right in her home, a successful career and is also pretty bad-ass. I aspire to have the strength she must have to stick up for herself in the ways she does. Oh, and did I mention who her husband is?

3. But seriously, they live the perfect life

Christian’s family is amazing, Anastasia has great friends, and they have the means to do anything they want. Spontaneous vacation? Check. Amazing, huge house? Check. Anything they want, they can get.

4. Jack Hyde is actually the creepiest man I’ve ever seen

Just seeing his bloodshot eyes and haggard appearance gives me the chills— and he’s only a fictional character. I’m just glad it isn’t my family that he’s out to ruin.

5. Why does Anastasia continue to do the exact opposite of what her husband asks?

She knows what it does to him. We get a view of the intense way he can punish her, and yet she continues to defy him. She could use a lesson in learning to pick her battles, that’s for sure.

6. Wow, I need to workout more.

Every time a glimpse of Anastasia’s abs is seen, I instantly think of my own very ab-less body. It’s enough to inspire me to get to the gym more— at least until the movie is over.

7. Christian is both super romantic and super weird

Some of the things he does for Anastasia make me melt — they’re just so perfect. But on the other hand, he can be a bit controlling. He also likes to take out his anger in the bedroom, which is kind of a weird way to do it.

8. The “kinky fuckery” is a little too much sometimes

Some of the scenes in the “playroom” can get a little intense and uncomfortable. The movies are great, but they could use a little less sex—even though that’s kind of the “thing” of the series.

9. Really though, where is my Christian Grey??

Just reread number one…

10. This can’t be the end

I don’t know how to feel now that there won’t be a new movie to go see next year. What else is there to look forward to if it isn’t a new Fifty Shades installment??