I think every teenager is a hero. When we are young, we feel so much pain. Going to school is like going to war. People let you down all the time. Sometimes it's very, very hard to stay strong. But you have to.

Fifteen wasn't that long ago for me but that ten years between then and now, seems like an entire lifetime. The things I've loved and lost, believed and fallen away from, liked and disliked, have changed drastically within the last ten years and I'd bet money that even more things will change in the coming ten years of my life too.

Fifteen sometimes doesn't seem so different from twenty-five most days - I'm still insecure, feeling like I need to be someone I'm not, wanting to be loved and liked, and simply, sometimes, wanting to be anyone but me. But, the more I thought about that, the more I wish I could look my fifteen year old self in the face and give it to her straight. Since I can't travel back in time, maybe I can help my fifteen year old readers, mama's of fifteen year old's, or frustrated older sister's see what I (and maybe you) couldn't see when I was fifteen and provide some advice I wish I had been told at fifteen.

1. Boys aren't marriage material at fifteen.

I'm here to tell you that fifteen year old boys aren't thinking about marriage. They aren't thinking about you walking down the aisle to him in that beautiful white gown. They aren't thinking about white picket fences and backyard bar-b-q's with the neighbors. They're barely thinking about anything other than sports and video games, to be honest. That's not a bad thing though - fifteen year old boys should be thinking about being boys just like you should be thinking about being a fifteen year old girl. Don't rush him to the alter when you've barely made it past second period.

2. Girls are mean (and boys too, I'd guess).

Think about how insecure you are (come on, we all are at fifteen) and then remind yourself that everyone else around you - regardless of being skinny and beautiful or academic and athletically built - is just as insecure as you are. Sadly, at fifteen it's hard to believe this fact - that people could be so insecure in themselves that they need to bring others down with them - but, it really is true. Insecurity will get the best of you sometimes - just try to remember that high school is only four years and you won't be fifteen forever. And, you always have the ability to choose how you respond to a bully ... don't react - that adds fire to their already blazing fire.

3. You aren't fat just because you aren't a size zero.

When you're built differently than the popular girls at school or you're the guy in the weight room who, despite lifting weights for months now, still hasn't gained 10 pounds of muscle, you start to compare yourself to others and let me tell you ... that's dangerous territory my friend. You may not be the skinniest girl on the cheerleading team or the bulkiest dude on the football team but that doesn't make you any less of who you are in those roles. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look a certain way as long as it's what you want and not what everyone else has that you don't.

4. Don't try and grow up so fast.

Trust me on this one, being older really isn't all that great. Bills really are a thing you have to worry about and the student loan debt is REAL. Enjoy your youth because it really does fly by in the blink of an eye.

5. You don't have to be the best player on the field.

I thought for the longest time that the greatest thing I could be in life was the best player on the soccer field. But, trust me .... there's more to life than being the best player on the field or dating the hottest guy on the basketball team. Working hard and playing well as a result is nothing to be ashamed of but don't lose yourself trying to be something you're not or probably don't truly care to be.

6. You aren't dumb just because you failed Geometry.

Seriously though, if you "get" Geometry - you're a genius! There were just some subjects in high school (and college ... *sigh*) that I swear, just aren't meant to be understood. If that's not the case, just let me believe that for a little while longer. No, but really, there's going to be a lot of things in life that you "fail" at or that you aren't as good at as others but that doesn't make you dumb and it definitely doesn't make you a failure. Just get through it and you'll be just as well off. Geometry really isn't for everyone.

7. You may look different but you will love that one day.

If you're like me, you probably went to school with every blonde haired, blue eyed girl in America and you happen to be the only brunette, naturally tanned-skin, brown eyed girl in your friend group. Clearly that's an exaggeration but that's how it sometimes feels when you're fifteen and everyone but you looks the same. Trust me, the older you become, the more you'll appreciate being set a part from the other girls. It really is beautiful to be different.

8. Being you (Mexican, White, Black, Asian, etc) isn't a downgrade.

I remember never wanting to claim "Mexican" as my identity because people would call me a "border jumper" or a "wet back" (I told you people were mean). It wasn't cool to be Mexican (again, it wasn't "cool" to be different). And I think now, more than ever, to be black, Mexican, white, Asian, whatever is a beautiful thing, my friends. People will try to knock you for anything these days; but who you are, what ethnicity you are, or where you come from isn't a downgrade or disgrace -- that's something to be proud of!

9. Save yourself for the right man/woman.

There's a reason that people tell you that you shouldn't have sex or be intimate with someone when you're fifteen ... or in high school, period. At fifteen, you want to be desired and liked but sex at fifteen doesn't give you either of those things. Waiting and saving yourself for the right man/woman is going to be worth it. I wish I had known that at fifteen but, that's why I'm here to tell you that sex at fifteen ain't what it's all cracked up to be. Insecurity, shame, confusion, hurt, frustration - that's what comes with sex at fifteen ... why add anymore stress to some already tough years as is?

10. Get real with God. Seriously, real.

I thought that because I had gone to church every Sunday since I was born and because I was involved in youth group, Sunday school, youth choir, mission trips, etc I knew who God was. But the reality is, when I went to college, I could have really used a great relationship with God because the next few years were going to be hell. I'm thankful that I had a relationship with God, as slack as it probably was, but I'm even prouder to see what a real relationship with Him is like now. If I could encourage you with anything, it's this: get real with God before life gets real with you. He won't ever leave you even when that fifteen year old boy you wanted to marry does.

11. Self-harm hurts more people than just you.

I don't have any physical scars to show for the self-harm I caused myself at fifteen, but the emotional scars are just as bad. They have affected my present life in more ways than I maybe want to realize. Cutting, starving yourself, giving your body away to the wrong people ... they cause you a lot of heart break but imagine how those things hurt the people who love you the most. Let somebody in long enough to love you through your troubles - you don't have to deal with anything alone.

12. Hug your grandparents more and your parents too, while you're at it.

All too often we forget that as we're getting older, so are our parents and grandparents. You won't always hate your parents and you won't always find spending time with your grandma or grandpa a bore. Take the time you have now to learn more about them and I bet you'll find yourself in them too. Your grandparents have cool stories to tell you if you'll only take your eyes off your phone long enough to hear them out. Oh, and your parents really do know what's best for you ... that one still gets on my nerves sometimes.

13. Keep dreaming about being a neurosurgeon but be okay when the plan changes.

If you're like me, you'll have wanted to be a teacher and a doctor since you were old enough to know how to play "make believe." Though I became neither a doctor nor a teacher, I'm glad to know that I had big dreams for myself that always encouraged me to work my hardest because as my parents said, "I could be anything I wanted to be!" I never thought I'd be going into the career I am, but I never lost my passion for success - it just changed a little bit. Seriously, reach for the stars but don't freak out when you don't become the next Derek Shepherd.

14. You truly are beautiful for a fifteen year old. Stop trying to look "older."

Wipe all that makeup off. Take the push-up bra off. Those short shorts that barely cover anything .... those can go too. Throw a big t-shirt on and put your hair up in that messy bun and have fun for once. Makeup is fun. Getting dressed up is fun. But trust me, you shouldn't be trying to live like an 18 year old when you're 15. Be a kid shamelessly. You'll have plenty of time to be "older" soon enough.

15. Stop wishing to be someone else.

If you take nothing else away from this article, I hope you'll take this -- there's only ever been one you and there will only ever be one of you. Your life is valuable. Who you are and who you will become are beautiful gifts to so many. When you question why you're alive - remember that you are wanted. When you question why that boy doesn't love you - remember that you are loved. When you fail geometry or don't make the softball team - remember that you are good enough. When you feel like you could be more beautiful if you stopped eating to lose weight - remember that you are more than a number on a scale. Stop wishing to be anyone but who God made you to be. You were meant for every moment that you're living - God believed you were strong enough to handle each one; count yourself blessed.