10:43 PM
Some mistakes weren't meant to be fixed. No matter how daunting they may be. The whole reason that I was there that night was because I was trying to fix my mistake. The crisp leaves gathered around my legs; their stems pricking my knees. They were slightly dirty from the mud and would slide every time I tried to move. I clutched my lantern by side, moving it around constantly to check if I was alone.
I brought my phone too, but I figured that using my flashlight would kill my battery and leave me without any way to call for help. Smart, right? There was a slight breeze, but it wasn't cold. Yet… I was shaking. There were wounds in my new lilac Old Navy jacket from its battle with the surrounding tree branches. Well, that was $14.97 gone to waste. I didn't know why I was here, or if I should be here at all. I pleaded to speak to someone. Anybody.
My thoughts were slowly clawing at the wall that I had built to keep them out.
What if my lantern goes out?
Why do I care?
What's down there?
Will I find him?
Sigh. I must be crazy.
The night that it happened, I could have sworn I heard it. I was walking home from an ECO club meeting when I heard it: "Help Me". It was deafening and pierced my ears as if it commanded to be heard. And I ran. I ran away.
I entered my house in a panic, making a b-line for my room. I blasted Kendrick Lamar to forget about it. Through the intense bass, a faint voice said: "help me". At that point, I was questioning my sanity. I was bored outta my head that night. I must have been my imagination. Or maybe it was like that time where I thought my mom called my name, but she actually said "salmon". I don't know. But I did know that I couldn't just forget about him like that. So I left.
Ignoring my subconscious incessant warning, I let my mind wander. I kept thinking, I am safe, but he isn't. I checked the clock.
11:55 PM
I stared at the dark pit in front of me. I could tell where it began, but it didn't seem to have an end. I had found his shoes a mile or so back in the thick of the woods behind our school. I've seen him before. Around. He was in my AP Bio class. The classroom was quirky, to say the least.
The classroom had white, brick walls and gray carpeting that had years old stains from sports drinks and Kool-aid. The walls were lined with motivational posters with quotes like "You are your worst critic" and "Don't just believe it. Live it!" instead of the normal posters of diagrams of the body or the periodic table. I sat in the back of the class, purposefully, as I gave me access to observe the classroom, but not have to directly engage.
He sits in the second row from the front. His bookbag and his Nike basketball bag leaning on each other against his desk. However, I didn't pay attention enough to know his name. The school held a basketball game that night. He always seemed to be in a hoodie made by some band or rapper, and self-customized Air Force One's. When I found them the acrylic paint had was chipped, and the shoestring was frayed. He must have been running. But it had to be him.
My house was a block from the school, and on my walks home, he would be the only one I saw. Always cutting through the woods with his headphones in, without a care in the world. They ended up winning the game that night. I can't help but think that that was his last moment of happiness.
I shook my head to suppress my train of thought. Pushing my palms on the ground and lower my torso forward, looking in the hole. The light from my lantern had begun to dim and it wasn't powerful enough to break the darkness. I pulled my phone from my jeans and switched on the flashlight. After lowering the phone slowly into the whole, I started to pan my phone around the interior of the pit. My knees slide against the mud and propel me forward.
It all happened so fast. I began to realize where I was. In a hole, with no one to call. My chest grew heavy and my eyes stung from the fear. Finally, I broke. There were tsunami tides in my eyes. I couldn't stop crying. How could I've been so stupid? In a matter of seconds, I was sure of my fate. Imagining every single possibility of my future, none of them being positive, my body starts dry heaving.
"No, no, no, no", I repeated.
I was at war with my imagination and I was losing. My mind was the only thing that I had down here. The only thing that I truly needed if I wanted to survive. I needed to put my mind on something else, so I started to think about Alice in Wonderland. The irony of this situation has brought a small smirk to my lips. Not the kind that was made from happiness, but the kind where you're at your worst and your body tried to find any way to The unbearable thought of what could have happened to that boy were the rabbit Is this what Alice felt like when she fell?
Sadly, my fall didn't transport me into a dining room with a potion that would me shrink. But at that moment, I felt really small.
Thinking of home made me feel better. I think of my mom coming into my room to check if I was asleep, then manically looking for me after she realized that I was gone. If I did di-... lose my life tonight, how embarrassing it would be to find out that your own daughter died because she wanted to help someone that she didn't even know needed help instead of some serial killer.
Ash had built up on my arms and my skin resembled sandpaper. The once smooth mud had hardened and formed a cracked cast on my palms. It felt different down there. As if the air was made of different elements and the pressure of gravity became five times heavier. Everywhere I turned smelled like nothing I ever smelt before. It was rotten.
I searched in the darkness for my phone. When I finally found it, I tried turning it on. When the light popped up I gained a bit of hope. My phone had survived the fall but it didn't escape the impact of it. I used my sleeve to scrape off some of the broken glass.
12:05 AM
No service. Just like that my hope was gone. I turned on the flashlight and began to scan my surroundings. Spiders, worms, beetles, and a bug that I didn't know the name of encircled me. I zipped my jacket for protection. Continuing to move my phone around, I saw it.
My body halted. Bile pooled in my mouth and my intestines twisted as if someone pulling at both ends. I began to sweat and beg my body to take my eyes off of the sight, but it denied my request. I can't it believe that it was actually there. A custom painted Air Force One. I scrambled backward, dropping my phone and leaning back. My hand hit something firm, but squishy and wet. With a quickness, I grabbed my phone and pointed it at the ground behind me.
"What the fuck!" I screamed loud enough for the world to hear.
I was him. Or what used to be him. His clothes ripped, neck twisted, and skin pale and covered in crimson blood. My heart pumped my blood faster and my chest began to rise and fall at the speed of light. I tore my eyes from his bodied and let them dart everywhere around me. There had to be a way out, I thought. I pointed my flashlight up at the sky. A figure with a mask covering half of their face appeared. I assumed that it was a man because the shoulders were broad and they were wearing the work clothes of a construction worker. I lunged up and held my hand high.
"Please help me! I feel down here while walking an-and I can't get out", my voice was cracking from the crying and my mouth was dry. He just stood there motionless, looking at me directly in the eye. "What is wrong with you! Help me, please!"
I turned my head from looking at his face and focused my eye on his left. He was holding a shovel in his hand. Once he noticed what I was looking at he picked it up and began pushing dirt into the pit. Coarse dirt was crashing into my face and trickling down into my eyes. I wanted to plead for my life and say that I'll do anything just to live, but my body was paralyzed with fear and lips refused to part. It was over. Everything was over.
Suddenly, a high pitched siren rang from afar. As it got closer the noise of the car got louder and louder. I looked up again and the man was gone. Moments later a woman in a police uniform came to the pit with a flashlight.
"Are you okay?", she said.
"Y-yes", I said hesitantly.
I was okay. I was saved. But for the boy, it was too late.
