How do you say I'm sorry to someone you never meant to hurt?

How do you explain to the world you didn't see that truck coming?

How do you tell her family how much she meant to you?

You don't.

No matter what I say, it's my fault.

My fault we got hit.

My fault the doctors couldn't save you.

My fault that you're gone.

Everything I do,

Everything I say,

it's my fault.

I try to redeem myself and fall short every time.

How was I to know that would be our last night together?

How was I to know that the truck would run into to us?

How was I to know that you would end up leaving me?

Nightmares haunt me of the moments I lost you.

Metal colliding with metal.

Car tumbling.

Our bodies tossed like rag dolls.

Time slowing down to an unbearable state.

Fiberglass.

Everywhere.

In our hair,

our clothes,

Our bodies.

Everything in that moment seemed surreal, even though it was.

Words cannot describe to you how sorry I am.

If I had known, I would have told you how much I loved you more. If I had known, I would've just stayed home with you and asked for a movie night.

If I had known I would have proposed to you sooner.

Everyone forgets how much I loved you.

All they do is blame me.

I would do anything for you.

But all they remember is that my life was spared, and yours wasn't.

I'm trying to live without you, but it's easier said than done.

I look at the clothes we crashed in and I can't bear to wash them.

It serves as a reminder.

A reminder of our last night together.

Our last smile together.

Our last everything together.

I tried to clean out the closet today,

everything still smells like you.

Everything in this closet holds a memory.

From the cat Christmas sweater you wore when we went ice skating for the first time.

To the paint covered hoodie from renovating the house.

My friends say I should move on,

they say there are other girls in the world.

But how can I move on when you were my world?