I spend the majority of my year out in California, residing in the Greater Los Angeles Area while pursuing a Bachelors degree, but currently I happen to be back home on the east coast for the holidays.
It is a great feeling to catch up with family members for whom I care deeply, and getting to hear about what has been going on in their lives while I have been away. These conversations are a source of happiness, but returning home after several months also has a way of making you confront other realities that might not be so enjoyable to think about.
My father recently underwent on a surgery, not for anything life threatening thankfully, but the thought of surgery can be an anxiety generator, irrespective of the specific reason for the surgery. And although my father’s surgery was not the most major event in the world, it made me realize that my parents are slowly nearing the age where surgery is often necessary for the optimal usage of of basic functions. That is terrifying.
It is terrifying because it is a grim reminder of the inescapable mortality of all living things, humanity most relevantly. This idea that all people will eventually reach a point where there will begin a noticeable decline in physical condition, that can often be slowed down but not completely prevented. While many would likely say that this obvious truth that most people are more than aware of, it is not necessarily something that everyone thinks about regularly, unless something significant happens that makes them reflect upon it consistently. Throughout our lifetimes we’ll be faced with various reminders of our own morality, some more than others depending on certain life decisions.
For me personally, I find that although there are certainly times where I have miniature existential crises, I most frequently find myself thinking about the mortality of those I love more than my own. I am fortunate to have a healthy, great relationship with my parents, who have served as a continual guiding force within my life. The thought that I will someday no longer have them is a deeply unsettling thing to accept. Not only should you be grateful for each day that you have to wake up, live and breathe, but also for each day that the people you care about has as well. Based on my observations that I have made during the course of my life, it seems to often be the case that by the time many people’s parents pass away, they have their own families of their own.
I would imagine that once you and a partner have started a family, the impact of losing a parent, while still incredibly difficult, is easier to bare. It would be easier to bare because with children to now look after and raise, there is a new sense of responsibility to be the best caregiver that you can be (At least there is in good parents), and have a worthwhile impact on your children’s lives while you yourself are still living. Time is of the essence, and we should keep that in mind as we go through life. Not to the extent that that you mope about and think about passing away constantly, but merely to the extent that you make an effort to appreciate the time that you have been given and use it productively to live life to the fullest with the people that you love.