As the commencement of the Fall semester of the new school year starts I've opted to do a little bit of reflection on my past year in college. It was at Spelman College that I met my best friends, stayed up long nights studying for tests and finishing papers and in the process I learned what it meant to live on my own even if it meant nourishing myself with easy Mac, Ramen noodles, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches more than I would've ever imagined. I rolled out of my bed early in the morning religiously most days of the week to take showers that were either extremely cold or hot never a comfortable medium on the temperature spectrum, a struggle that I'm sure all of my Abby sisters can relate to. For many of those mornings my only source of motivation came from the odd intermixing of trap music and R&B from the likes of hip hop veterans from Bone Thugs and Harmony to contemporary voices like Soulja Boy and Lil Uzi Vert all the way to the occasional harmonies from the New Edition and Guy that come from my speakers.
Similarly while you don't have to be best friends with your roommates at all make it a priority to respect each other's needs and desires in a way that shows respect for each other and your own individual spaces. Compromise is key. Plus trust me when I say I was appreciative to have someone to make late night runs to the food truck for hot wings and fries when I needed a little extra boost at 2 in the morning.
Besides it wouldn't hurt to get to know the person, or in some cases people (from two to four additional heads), that you'll be living with for the next nine months and some change. Try to initiate a friendship so that living together never becomes awkward and you'll begin to enjoy each other's company as you share your living space together. In those situations where you just can't seem to get over the rifts that might arise between the two of you consult the assistance of your RA to find a resolution. Don't expect anyone to overlook your bad habit of having daily over the phone conversations with your significant other in the earliest hours of the morning when they have an 8 am the next morning or the constant scatter of clothing and unwelcoming smells that may arise in the room because of food that hasn't been discarded properly or on time, trust me not everyone will be so forgiving. Be wary of the fact that dorm rooms are compact and the walls that separate each unit are very thin so chances are your neighbor has to follow the same or very similar rules that are geared towards their room setting.
While many high school hopefuls select their college based on the academic perks that it may provide them both during school and after collegiate opportunities that are tied to affiliating yourself with a specific institution there is no way to really generalize what the experience of each student will be like, as cliche as it sounds college really is what you make it.
To my sisters of Spelman20, don't become so entangled in trying to revive those GroupMe friendships that you've formed throughout the summer so much so that it becomes unnecessary work. Seriously, you'll meet tons of people across the AUC there's no need to force yourself to like someone else. Additionally, while your friends from high school might've promised that they would keep in contact with you in college but they hesitate to contact you until Christmas Break comes around don't feel bad about dropping them. With this new setting comes a realignment of what people feel is significant. Some people just won't see you as a priority anymore and that's okay. My friend group didn't begin to solidify until after midterms. It's those people that'll sit out for the weekend with you to finish homework and do boring regular things that'll be around for the long run.
If you don't take anything else from this article here are a few essential tips I thought would be nice to keep in mind.
• DON'T show up late to class and expect your professor to have mercy on you at the end of the semester if you need a little boost in your grade, you get what you earn.
• DO come early to the cafe on Fried Chicken Wednesday's to avoid the massive lines and lack of supply, also side note: bring your own hot sauce. Sometimes the cafe lacks what I would've thought was an essential condiment but the grill works downstairs doesn't always have hot sauce either.
• DO learn all the words to Itty Bitty Piggy by Nicki Minaj, it's something like an anthem for every woman in the AUC.
•DON'T forego your knowledge of line dances, college functions can sometimes be a little reminiscent of a family cookout based on the soundtrack.
• DO be prepared to rep your dorm unrelentlessly at any moment in time, it's all fun and games until the stroll off.
• And lastly DON'T date your Morehouse brother, cherish this friendship and put in the effort required to grow a bond with your brother. In the event that you just so happen to not get along with your brother you can always adopt another one if you meet someone else that you feel may be deserving of the title as well. My brothers, both official and adopted, have become some of my closest friends and continually make an effort to keep up with my well-being and in exchange I do the same.
All in all don't become so fixated in living up to your expectations for what college is supposed to be that it causes you to lose appreciation for the whole experience. Everything works out as it should.
