I've been giving a lot of thought to the phrase "Carpe Diem," or seize the day, in the last week, for a variety of different reasons.
On Sunday night, a friend of mine from high school was killed in a car accident. We weren't close or anything, and I hadn't spoken to Rachel in a long time, but it hit me hard. She was barely entering adulthood, going to nursing school, enjoying college life with her long-term boyfriend, and then she was taken from the world just like that. Just getting started with her life, probably the happiest she'd been in a long time, and now she's gone.
You never think it will happen to someone you know, but it did. I continue to hope and pray that her family finds peace in that she was living her best life. Living to seize the day.
Because she's gone so suddenly, I've been thinking a lot about the way I live my own life. Am I living a healthy, carpe diem lifestyle? Would I have anything left unsaid if I were to die right now?
It's considered morbid, I know, to think about death so candidly. But if we live in fear of death, we forget to live in the moment. We forget to seize the day. If I were to die right now, I wouldn't regret anything I've done. I would regret things I haven't done, things I haven't said.
In the last week or so, I've spent a lot of time thinking. And I've had a lot going on, with schoolwork and emotions and all manner of things. But just thinking, about Rachel, about life, about the things I haven't said, I've decided a few things.
It's going to be hard. Emotionally taxing. Generally difficult to be vulnerable in this way. But I'm going to start trying. I don't want to regret what I haven't said or done. I want to seize the day, live every moment, and enjoy my life.
While I'm still lucky enough to have it.
