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A Few Desperate Thoughts From A Girl Who Hates Summer

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A Few Desperate Thoughts From A Girl Who Hates Summer
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The height of summer is here, and those of us who can’t stand the heat wish winter would just hurry up already. Triple digit heat wears us down, and the thought of leaving the house for more than a few minutes sounds like something we’d rather not commit to. There are many thoughts that run through a heat-opposed person’s mind on a daily basis between the months of May and August. Here are a few of those thoughts:

Why me?!

We are pretty whiney, I’ll admit it. We step outside, get blasted in the face by the waves of suffocating heat and think, why must it be me?! Why, of all people, must I need to be outside of my air conditioned house at this moment while the sun decides that the Earth needs a few more minutes in the oven? There isn’t anything we can do about our need to leave the house, most of the time. So by means of relieving some discomfort, we complain about it. Sorry, not sorry.

Is the sun REALLY necessary?

Okay, we know it’s necessary, but on those days where it’s only ten in the morning and the temperature is climbing toward the triple digits, we begin to question whether this is hell or Earth and what exactly we did to deserve this pit roast of a summer’s day. I mean, would it really be all that bad if the sun took a little bit of a break? I mean, I’d go for an ice age after the hottest day of the summer. Not a good idea? Maybe. But I could sure use an ice bath right about now.

How long is it until Christmastime?

Cozy sweaters, fluffy blankets, sipping hot chocolate—these are the things I look forward to while melting out in the heat of August. Maybe I could withstand the heat of summer if the frozen yogurt shops had the winter flavors too. I could sit inside the shop and eat a nice bowl of gingerbread frozen yogurt with heath bar bits, graham cracker crumbs, and caramel and think for just a second that it’s cold outside. (Seriously, though, Gingerbread frozen yogurt is the best. Try it)

Okay, just how badly am I sunburning right now?

If you hate the heat, it’s pretty likely that you burn pretty badly while out in it. My mom once got sunburnt through her clothes. True story. We don’t do well in the heat. It’s not like I burn, then tan. I burn, peel, lose the color and return to pasty white ghost. Shall I mention that I’m still nursing a sunburn from over three weeks ago? Step outside on a sunny day without sunscreen and thoughts of how badly am I going to regret this flood through the minds of those who would rather be inside.

Can I call in sick because it’s too hot outside?

Most of us work for a living. So when it’s sweltering outside and one must get out of the comfort of their home to make money, the thought of “can heat be a viable reason to stay home?” comes up a few times. Especially those in the service industry have to deal with environments that don’t completely block out the heat. Working in a restaurant on a 107 degree day is pretty exhausting.

Am I going to die?

Did I mention we are a bit dramatic? Well we are. The heat is a bit much for us to take a lot of the time, and this thought crosses minds a whole lot more than we’d like to mention. Actually, we’re natural complainers so that may not be so true. We don’t like the heat. We don’t like it so much that when we must come in contact with it, it feels like it’s sucking the literal life energy from our bones and if we must stay within its evil energy for a mere second longer than necessary, it might as well be killing us slowly.

If winter could hurry up and get here now, that would be GREAT.

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