I am a feminist and I did not go to the Women's March on Washington. The decision is tearing me apart inside. I was there in the spirit of course, but I still feel like I am missing out. I am so proud of all the women, men, and gender-nonconforming people who took a stand and marched for what they believe in. However, I am in a constant battle of inner turmoil over what I know to ultimately be the best decision for me.

As a young person, it is often not considered that I might be chronically ill. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, and thus I am not always able to do everything I would like. One such instance, one I know will stay with me forever, is the Women's March on Washington.

No matter political stance, this election season has been a rollercoaster for everyone. Personally, I am very much against the idea of a Trump presidency, and more importantly what that represents. To me, it represents the ways in which power is given to those in positions of privilege, and how sometimes change will be chosen merely for the sake of that word. I am appalled at the results, of this election, and was inspired to hear of the growing campaign to march on the day following Trump's inauguration.

My school, Denison University, hosted its own march on campus, and I think that was an important moment to be a part of. Still, a piece of me wishes that I could have done more; been at the actual event. I think it is so important to remind our government that we the people are the ones in control; not a few individual people. Being a part of this movement, the movement for justice helps to achieve that goal.

I have had so many people directly ask me, "how was the march?" This is so difficult, as it assumes that I was there and also puts the responsibility to recall events on me alone. I am the most shocked at this assumption because it implies that I should have been there while it is clearly okay that the questioner was not. I have also had the experience on the day of the march where many people were surprised that I was not there. Statements along the lines of "I'm surprised that you are not in Washington," were uttered.

Due to my disposition as an active community member, and as a hardcore feminist, I can see where these people are coming from. But, I am here to tell you that we all express our feminism in different ways, and for me, that meant having the courage to take a step back. After all, I am no good to anyone if I am out of commission.

So, to those of you who wanted to be at the Women's March on Washington with all your hearts: I want you to know that I hear you. I see you. You are important. You're activism matters. And your reasons are valid. Being a part of the cause makes the biggest statement of all.