Growing up, I was always taught to dress modestly so boys will respect me by family and friends. It made sense growing up as I witnessed boys go after any female with a portion of their torso showing as if it was a some kind of mating call. I never fully understood why or how this logic came about, but to tell the truth I never asked questions. It was what I knew, it was what I believed in.

I could never fathom the reason someone could be asked “Well, what were you wearing?” when a boy crosses a line as if an article of clothing is a nonverbal form of consent. As if a woman is wearing an eight-dollar crop top from Forever 21 to meet the needs of a boy. As if women dress up every day saying “Yeah, this will get the least amount of respect…it’s great!” I have never met a woman that dresses to impress a man. Sure, we dress nicely for dates or to meet your parents but never because “He would want me to wear this.” Why would I deny myself the luxury of comfort and confidence in how I look to satisfy a boy’s wants?

As I got older and ventured into the world, I began to fall in love with my body because it was mine. I wanted to wear clothes that made me feel beautiful and showed off my favorite parts of me. I wanted to wear an outfit and not worry if it will give me "the wrong kind of attention." Although, the warnings I had received at a young age would always creep back into my mind that I would not be respected based on an article of clothing.

I thought back to high school when I couldn’t wear tank tops or leggings because it would distract the male students from learning and even some teachers from teaching. I felt like a victim in my own body. I respected myself more than anyone ever could, I loved myself more than anyone ever will, and I didn’t see why or how anyone could ever degrade a person based off of their clothing. Female students were expected to wear clothes heavier than necessary because it was the dress code and deemed "appropriate." We would be told our shirts "showed too much shoulder" and shorts were "way too short for school" then send us home from to change as if our education was second to how we were dressed. School systems would rather punish females for dressing weather appropriately than be in school doing what they are there for, to learn.

Self-respect is not a shirt or a pair of shorts, it's how much you value yourself as a person. It is how much you love yourself. It is how much you love others. It is all internal and exists within yourself. You cannot find self-respect within an outfit, you can not buy it, you have to create it for yourself.