I'm proud to be a woman. I'm grateful for the opportunities that I am awarded. I'm proud of the things I am capable of accomplishing. But there are some things that need to be cleared up with the "F-word" before this moves on any further.
I Am a Feminist, but...
1. I don't hate men.
One of the biggest misconceptions within feminism is that all feminists hate men. That is not the case. At all. If that were the case, that would be misandry, and while feminism is often lumped into the same category as misandry, they are very different by practice and definition. Misandry is the dislike/contempt of men, while feminism, on the other hand, advocates for the “social, political, and economic equality of ALL sexes.” Equal, not one being better than the other. Because I am a feminist, it doesn’t mean that I hate men. In fact, the majority of my closest friends are guys, and they are some of the best friends a girl could ask for. As a feminist, I am against the patriarchy and the idea that society has created that men are superior to women. I’m not against the gender, I’m against the idea. And that is what makes the difference.
2. I still wear makeup.
Because I am a feminist, it doesn’t mean I have to belittle and trash stereotypical “feminine” activities, like putting on makeup or wearing dresses. I like wearing makeup. I like getting dressed up. I like wearing dresses and the color pink. But because I like all of these things, it doesn’t make me any less than a feminist. It’s about confidence. It’s about feeling comfortable in the choices you make, not because society forces you to…but because YOU want to. Because YOU think makeup looks good on you, that dress flatters your body, those heels make your legs look good. It truly is all about your confidence.
3. I still want to get married.
Another big misconception within feminism is that all feminists hate marriage and the idea of marriage. While some feminists believe that marriage can be binding and restrict females of some rights and beliefs, a large chunk still believe in marriage. I want to get married, and whether or not someone chooses to get married is a personal choice beside their view on feminism itself. As a feminist, I just don’t believe in an unequal marriage. I want a husband that supports my opinions, while still having his own. I want a husband that doesn’t stand for the prejudices against women. And lastly, as Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says, “marriage is about joy, love, and mutual support," and there is no room for inequality in a marriage within those three things.
4. I don’t shame non-feminist
s.Just because I stand for the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes, doesn’t mean I scoff at people who are non-feminists. What makes America special is that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. People may share similar opinions, people may share incredibly different opinions, and that is okay. Why? Because it is your opinion, and only yours alone. Yes, I have different opinions than my friends regarding a lot of things, but just because it’s different does not make it incorrect. If people don’t stand for the ideas of feminism, that’s OK. It’s their choice, and you can’t influence or change that in anyway. What you can do is listen, listen to why they think that way, what is behind their opinion, and learn from it.
5. I’m not “masculine.”
Just because I consider myself to be a feminist, it doesn’t mean that I am “masculine.” Feminists can be feminine. It is often assumed that women who are feminists dress up like men and hate anything that comes off as “too girly.” That is far from the truth. I’m not against femininity at all, I love being a woman. I love getting dressed up, putting on outfits that make me feel strong and confident. I just don’t appreciate society always telling me what I can and can’t wear. How I can’t wear that dress with a slit in it without people turning their heads thinking “that’s a little trashy.” Or how I can’t wear those short shorts without people thinking “that’s a little too revealing.” It is a double standard that we are constantly at odds with.
6. I don’t think only women can be feminists.
Women aren’t the only people who can be feminists. In fact, we need more male feminists in society today. Men that are willing to defend ideas such as the pay inequality between the sexes, and certain positions that are only awarded to men. Emma Watson, a huge proponent for UN Women, said something that should resonate with everyone, “if we stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can all be a lot freer.” That cannot be solely achieved if women are the only people who believe in feminism. We need a united front to achieve equality for all.