Recently I was on Facebook and I saw an article published on Odyssey calledThanks To Feminists, Men Are Not Allowed To Be MEN Anymoreby Teela Sammons. The title caught my attention and I expected a typical ignorant rant by some young women. I think of myself as a generally open-minded person so I did my best to read this article and try to understand the author's position.
She argued that modern day feminists are ruining men. Men are now afraid to approach women. She claimed that men cannot go past the point of saying "Hello" to a woman without being labeled as a "misogynistic woman hater." Additionally, she was raised to acknowledge men as the head of the house. Ultimately, Sammons argues that feminists are ruining "real men" for girls who want them.
Reading this article I came up with several points of contention. The first being with the word feminist. Feminism by definition is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. In essence, if you believe that all sexes are equal and should be treated as such, you are a feminist. That is the literal definition of the word. I would like that to be the singular use of the term, I am not so oblivious to the fact that in our modern society it is not taken as such.
While the semantics of her argument and all of those who equate feminism with man hating frustrates me, that is not the larger issue. She argues that "every feminist thinks they have the right to trample men into the ground and hold their heads up high for it." I strongly disagree. While I am sure that there are some women who feel the need to degrade men, most women just want an equal opportunity to succeed in life.
As for her argument that the feminist movement has made men scared to pursue women, I do not believe we have regressed to a state where a man cannot ask a woman on a date without being seen as a predator. A man will be seen as creepy and predator-ish if he does something that crosses the line. Approaching a woman to ask her out or start a conversation is absolutely fine. Continuously harassing or following a woman who has clearly declined an invitation, is not. There is nothing wrong with a man pursuing a woman, the problem arises when pursuing becomes harassing.
This is the same logic for those who have stated that the #MeToo movement has made men scared to hire women. A man should not be afraid of hiring a woman if he does not plan on engaging in inappropriate behavior. By the same token, a man should not be afraid of approaching a woman if he does not plan on engaging in inappropriate behavior.
Her last point stated that she did not support the abuse of women, but also would not support the abuse of men. I absolutely agree with her however, I did not make the connection between the sexual abuse and harassment of women and men feeling emasculated by modern-day feminism.
I have personal issues with modern day feminism. I often think people take their opinions too far and are unable to be open-minded to opinions that contradict their own. However, I do not by into the idea that these feminists are taking away a man's ability to be a man. For all of the faults with the feminist movement, they are helpful in bringing to light decade of abuse and inequality that had previously been hidden away. This revelation and movement are essential to the progression of our society as a whole, not detrimental to the dating lives of men.
