Self-deprecation is all too common among women. To us, there's always something wrong with our faces, bodies or both. We live in a society that regardless of what you want to argue conditions you to believe that you are somehow always insufficient. In today's world of social media and technology, these messages are far too easily passed around. What today's girls do not need is to hear their female role models condescending themselves, which rubs off onto the young and impressionable.
This pressure is hard enough on adults, let alone on children and teenagers. Little girls grow up seeing perfect lingerie models lining the walls in malls and women with perfectly manicured bodies, hair, nails and skin on the television and in movies. They grow up wanting to achieve these impossible standards and are constantly ridiculed when they don't meet their standards. There are a variety of cases that show that this begins as young as elementary school, if not earlier in some cases.
How can we expect the next generation of girls to grow up to be the strong, successful women we need if we aren't starting to prepare them at home from a young age? Nothing kills motivation and success quicker than self-doubt does. And imagine how damaging that doubt and internal hate can be over many years. It is our job as mentors to set good examples, which begins with the little things we do and say around our kids, cousins, nieces and such.
I can remember every single time I sat in my mom's room on her bed and watched her stand in front of a mirror and criticize her body and how she looked. Growing up, and still to this day, everyone always tells me how much I look like my mom, both in the face and in our body shapes. I have always viewed it as a good thing, and still do, but I will never forget the first time I looked at my body in the mirror and noticed the very things she complains about in my body.
Those similarities became similarities of hate.
The women of my family all get told we look a lot alike. And we are all fairly close. As a result, the same effect happens when they criticize themselves. If they can criticize themselves, and it turns out to be about the similar characteristics that we share, then it's no shock when I start to hate those things about myself too.
So I plead with you, female role models of mine and all female role models across the world, watch your words around those easily influenced. Watch how you talk about yourself around your daughters, nieces and your son's girlfriends. You never know how your self-degradation is going to affect the young and impressionable females around you. As fellow women, it is our job to do everything we can to help our fellow ladies out, whether they are 5, 15 or 35.
