7 Things You Should Know As A Female Pallbearer | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

7 Things You Should Know As A Female Pallbearer

You don't have to be famous like Maria Shriver to be a pallbearer.

20410
7 Things You Should Know As A Female Pallbearer
dlcowgirl.files.wordpress.com

I unfortunately had to attend a funeral this week andI was asked to be a pallbearer. I was initially concerned as a petite girl, I wouldn't have the physical and emotional strength required.

While I was internally debating whether to be a pallbearer or not, I found a lot of unhelpful/inaccurate stuff on Google. So here's a genuine pallbearer experience from a petite woman to help the next female pallbearer make their decision.

Note: I use a lot of gendered language in this article, because this is my personal experience as a cis petite female pallbearer. If you dress in a femme way or don't identify as male, some of this article still may apply. No matter your gender identity or expression, if you want to be a pallbearer at a funeral of someone you were close to, don't let gendered expectations hold you back.

1. As long as you feel comfortable, do it.

it's a great honor to be asked and to carry out this solemn duty. Don't let tradition prevent you from participating. However, if you don't think you can manage the weight of the coffin due to medical stuff, pregnancy, body type or simply overwhelmed from grief don't do it. (Dropping a coffin would be bad...)

2. Wear comfortable shoes

For women, I recommend flats or low, wider heels that you are very comfortable wearing. Older places of worships and outside at the cemetery could involve lots of steps or be very uneven ground, and you cannot stumble in these circumstances.

3. Wear something mostly black/grey to match the other pallbearers.

Assuming most of the pallbearers are men, it's likely they are going to be wearing dark suits. If you don't have a dark suit to wear, your attire should mirror this color scheme, even though wearing other dark colors (purple, navy blue) to funerals has become more acceptable.

Wearing dark colors is a Western tradition at funerals, so more generally your feminine attire shouldn't call attention to yourself if all the other pallbearers are male.

4. If it's raining, a raincoat is a must.

An umbrella won't do in this situation, and you wouldn't want to ruin your good clothes so even if there's a possibility of rain-wear a waterproof coat.

5. Ask the funeral director if you are confused.

The pallbearers often get to the funeral home early before the funeral to load the hearse. This is a good time to clarify any questions you might have about carrying the coffin. If you get brief or confusing directions, now is the time to clarify.

6. Usually you grab the rail on the side of the casket.

*Results may vary, but Google mislead me on this one saying that handles are mostly decorative. Clarify with the funeral director or another pallbearer to be extra certain.

7. Carrying a casket up steps is difficult.

The weight shifts around rapidly so a secure, two-handed grip will make it easier. If you are concerned about the weight, place yourself as one of the pallbearers in the middle.

8. It can be a rewarding experience.

This may be the last chance you can do something for the deceased person you knew well. Consider breaking a gendered stereotype and be a pallbearer.

Do you identify as female and have been a pallbearer at a funeral? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

872
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4240
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2607
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

201978
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments