I suffer from a chronic condition called being a female.

I know, it's very serious and very hard to cure. "Valentina, what is wrong with you?" "Is it really wrong to be a girl?" "Why do I have to be a girl? Males have it much easier than us females." These are questions that are continuously posed as I look at my reflection in the mirror.

Seeing that I have boobs and a vagina, the two obvious physical components of being a female, I often dissect why I have to carry all the burdens of being one. The social construction of assigned roles and characteristics of a female persistently haunts me. The expectations from my family of me taking care of the family, cleaning, cooking, being "ultimately" feminine and ladylike give me more reasons to hate myself. "Why is this so hard!?" I scream this to myself and cry with constant pain.

As the second generation Asian-American and the eldest daughter to a conservative Vietnamese family, I inherit the strict roles and responsibilities of what it means to be an Asian female. With such expectations of me, I feel that I have no freedom to be myself. If I am myself, I will constantly be judged with remarks such as, "You need to be more ladylike" or "it's because you are a girl/female."

This phrase gets me: "It's because you are a girl/female."

Because I am a female, I "can't do this," "should be this" or "should do this." With such a phrase, I am viewed by others as dependent, weak and fragile, incapable of doing things on my own without male assistance. "Girls have it easy". Ugh, no. It is really hard to be a female. I continuously struggle with this chronic condition all my life and blame myself for being a female, with no source of light for "what I thought the cure is to be." But then, all of a sudden, it dawned on me. There are billions of girls around the world and in the US who suffer the same condition as me.

So, why do I have to care of what people think of me? Is it so wrong to be a girl?

With that in mind, I learned to not care that much. From high school to graduating college, I realized that I am always critically conscious of what other people think of me. I felt inferior to males when I shouldn't have to be. I was seriously scared to disappoint or ruin the image people or my family have created for me. As a result, I conformed and truthfully, I regretted doing so. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. As a result, with the support of my friends and my own self-discovery, I learned "Who the f*** cares?"

The not-so-secret cure I am continuously practicing is to just be me, not caring if the whole world turns on me or judges me. I learned that it is hard to change society or what other people think of us. However, the first thing we can do is definitely change ourselves and how we think of each other. Having confidence and never backing down are the golden keys to accepting yourself. The chronic condition of being a female is what makes us unique. It is not a disease or something to feel bad or ashamed of. Just like how people are transgender, gay, autistic or disabled, it is what makes us special and truly different.

The world would be boring and dull if we were all the same. There are millions of interpretations of what it means to be a girl. So, not one interpretation is a tangible answer for us. So. yes, I suffer from a chronic condition of being a female. But I am proud of it. My cure to this condition is to embrace it and to not let being a female or any other obstacles stand in the way of being 100 percent me. I, like many others, have the power to break down the walls and barriers that restrict me in defining my own self.

I am me. So deal with it.