Dear Rejectee,

Let’s face it: rejection sucks. It doesn’t matter how it happens, when it happens, or who does it, it sucks. There’s no way around it either. Everyone will face rejection at least once in their life. There is no person in the world who is too perfect not to face it, even though we often think that way. The worst is when you don’t see the rejection coming. It just shows up on a piece of paper that you didn’t make the team or is announced in front of everyone that you work with that the promotion went to someone else. On top of feeling the rejection attack you instantly, you have to sit there and smile and be a good sport about it, in front of everyone. You can’t be upset and run away and hide because then everyone will think that you’re pouting. So you have to sit there, and brave through the pain with a smile on your face. So, like I said before, let’s face it: rejection sucks.

The reason for this letter isn’t to rant about being rejected (although it does make me feel a little better), but to help people get through rejection. No one ever talks about it. We all just go through it and don’t know how to handle ourselves. I’m over it. I want to help people who have recently gotten rejected to know that it’s okay to be sad. You might want to sit and make a list of all the reasons you shouldn’t have gotten that part in the play or all the reasons why the other girl/boy shouldn’t have gotten that part in the play, but at the end of the day you’re the one sitting there not at rehearsal. Okay poor analogy, but you get my point. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself and reflect. Many people don’t take that time to do so, and end up worse off than before. Rejection always has a way of coming back and showing up at the worst times. So make sure you let yourself feel sad, but not for too long.

After the self -pity is over, you’re going to want to be mad at someone else. You end up thinking that it’s not YOUR fault you didn’t get the promotion, it’s the bosses, coworker, or manager’s fault. This is another phase you’ll have to get through. You don’t want to blame yourself anymore, so you go after another person. Even though you don’t want to realize it right away, we all know that’s not true. Your boss isn’t out to get you and your coworkers all want the same promotion you do, not to hurt you. Don’t try to bring everyone’s mood down. You may want to blame them, but don’t ruin their celebration. Put on that brave face and smile. Congratulate them, and then walk away.

Another tip, try not to take it out on the wrong people. When your mom, dad, boyfriend, or friend asks “how are you doing,” know that they don’t ask in a bitter way. They aren’t trying to make you feel worse about yourself, but they want to truly know how you are doing because they’ve been through rejection before and know how it feels. They know you are hurting and you know that you are hurting and no one knows how to make you feel better. It’s one of those strange situations where no one knows what to say, including yourself. So if you don’t want to talk about it right away, let them know. They will understand, and I promise you, they will be there waiting when you are ready to talk.

Lastly, and most importantly, know that it’s okay to get rejected. Everyone has to go through it and it’s how we better ourselves. Make a list of things you can do to improve yourself for next time. Always have a back- up plan waiting in case you don’t get what you want. Try new things too! Go after a new club, new job, or new team. The most important things is how you handle rejection. It’s going to happen throughout life and it shapes the person you become in the future. So go through the stages of rejection, but remember it will be okay.

Yours Truly,
Past Rejectee