Have you ever experienced a feeling that you just can't quite describe? Perhaps the feeling is too complicated or has too much depth to even put a singular describer to it. That's how I'm feeling knowing that my life is about to change. As I write this article, I am set to start college in only a few short days. This is causing complex feelings that I can't quite put a finger on. I've wrestled with the warmness in my stomach all summer. Is it sadness? Anxiety? Excitement? Overwhelming? Maybe it's a combination of all of those four and many, many more emotions.

When I think about starting college, I am hit with the feeling of summer ending that I get every year. My muscles get heavy. The heat from outside feels like it’s giving me a kiss goodbye. The days get shorter. The memories become more bittersweet. It’s like that feeling but intensified a thousand times.

I’ve been ready to be a freshman in college since I was a freshman in high school. So why am I grasping at every last second I have left before I leave? The unknown has always terrified me. Maybe because there weren't many unknowns I had to face growing up. There was always food on the table, my parents were always there to love and support me, and there was always a familiar face everywhere I turned in every supermarket, movie theater and restaurant. I am thankful for the life I was given and the worries I never had to struggle with. But now I am building a life on my own, separated from my parents that I am so grateful for; there are dozens of unknowns that I will have to face by myself. Starting college is one of the biggest unknowns I will tackle.

I’m saying goodbye to my family and friends. But perhaps the person I am saying goodbye to the most is myself, the person I am now. I know I’ll change, grow, and explore. My outlook on the world will become much wider and my thoughts will expand. I won’t be the same person I am today. I mean yes, I will still be the girl who only drinks coffee if it’s iced and takes too many pictures of her dog. But in many ways, I’ll be different. And that’s okay.

I'll be saying goodbye to my hometown, a place that I've wished away for so long, but am now sadly saying goodbye to. It has been a great starting place for me and my life. It's the launching pad I needed to take to get to bigger and better things. It will always be the setting of my beginnings but it will not be my final destination. The Midwest small town that I was once embarrassed to call my home has shaped me into who I am. It has made me strive to be my best self and has reminded me to never ever settle.

My life will never be like it is right now. That's both comforting and terrifying. I'm ready for the good, the bad and everything in between that will come with this change. Bring on the challenges world, I am ready to face them.

Cheers to change. Cheers to goodbye. Cheers to growth. Cheers to all that are to come.