Why You Should Never Feel Like You're Missing Out | The Odyssey Online
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Why You Should Never Feel Like You're Missing Out

It's more common than you'd think.

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Why You Should Never Feel Like You're Missing Out
Hubspot

Every choice we make has an irrefutable and irrevocable effect on who we are. The people we choose to surround ourselves with, the activities we choose to immerse ourselves in, and even something as seemingly inconsequential as the types of clothes we choose to wear influence how we behave and how people perceive us. We shape our own destinies piece by piece, branching off in increasing specificity as we almost unknowingly curate exactly the type of people we decide to be.

With the sheer amount and variety of choices available moment to moment, it's impossible not to be just a bit wistful for what could have been. It's incredibly difficult not to absentmindedly wonder what your life would have been had you decided not to drop art, or decided to drop science research, or reconnected with your best friend from middle school. Wanting to experience every adventure imaginable may lead you to try to do everything and be everything, losing the essence of why you're doing what you're doing, leading to burnout and overwhelm; it's ultimately inevitable to have chosen a core group of friends and passions to evade exhaustion and maintain a greater sense of self.

However, rationalizing the fact you have to give up pursuing certain courses of study or give up going to that amazing party because you wanted to take a nap and recover from a merciless workweek doesn't loosen the knot in your chest. Seeing someone else accomplish what you once thought of doing or seeing pictures online of your friends hanging out together while you were holed up in your room memorizing limit laws can still bother you, and it can feel incredibly isolating.

Fear of Missing Out (colloquially known as 'FOMO') is the pervasive anxiety that something exciting or interesting event is happening elsewhere and that you should be a part of it. It's fueled by humanity's penchant for loss aversion, in which people prefer avoiding losses to acquiring gains, so going to that party and having a bad time might superficially seem preferable to spending the night into rest. That compounded with the information asymmetry regarding how actually partaking in a given event would be can lead to a deep feeling of insecurity and anxiety, making it very difficult to remain present.

Because FOMO is a result of a deeply, evolutionarily embedded aversion toward social exclusion and is magnified by social media use, it's very hard to escape it beyond being aware everyone experiences it to some degree and that it's absolutely impossible to be involved in everything; instead, it's best to shift your focus from feeling less than and instead to fully investing in what you can do.


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