The hardest part of starting my freshman year at college was watching all of my friends move away. I was so used to seeing these people five days a week for eight hours at a time and going separate ways just felt wrong. Friends I’ve had since kindergarten, who were ten minutes away from my house, were suddenly hours and hours away.

My friend Rachel acclimated herself quickly. She got a new group of close-knit friends. She got a job, a boyfriend and good grades in classes she loves. She goes on trips with her new friends and has special dinners. She joins clubs and they’re all so happy. She told me she couldn’t wait to go back after Christmas break, that her college was home to her now.

That broke my heart more than anything.

And that was just the start.

All of my friends seem like they’re so successful in college. Joining multiple clubs or Greek life, having sleepovers in their friends’ dorms, getting good grades, laughing, going on adventures that one day they’ll tell their kids about. In my head, I’m telling myself to stop comparing myself to others. At the same time, I’m constantly questioning if I’m doing this whole college thing right. In my own way, I’ve been very successful too, but something is just not resonating with me.

I’m scared. I’m overwhelmed. I’m anxious, I’m depressed and, in general, I’m just not happy.

When I tell people, I often get told that that’s life. That’s life, and you better get used to it. But I don’t think it has to be that way. I want a life where I’m happy, where I’m not constantly worrying about this or that. I don’t want to be so stressed that I can’t sleep at night because I have nightmares about the things I need to get done in such a short amount of time.

I work part-time in retail. (I shouldn’t have to say anything more than the dreaded retail). I commute to school, which is about 30 minutes from home. I take the maximum amount of classes I can, and as a writing major, it’s a heavy workload. The only club I’ve gotten myself involved in is the newspaper, and that’s because I’m studying journalism. When I’m not at school, I’m at work. When I’m in neither place, I’m probably in my car, feeling incredibly alone, driving to one of those places. When I’m not at work or school or driving, I’m trying to catch up on sleep or eat dinner because I haven’t eaten a thing all day.

"Do something about it," I’m told. Honestly though, right now I can’t have what I want in life without hitting this low point first or without drastically changing everything about my current life. I love my campus - don’t get me wrong. The professors are fantastic. I have some good friends. But I feel so out of place, like I don’t know what to do with myself.

I feel like I’m just going through the motions, trying to survive these four years. Every day is the same; it becomes mundane. I know college is supposed to be hard. We’re furthering our education and working towards our career goals. We’re doing what we love. So instead of letting my fear and uncertainty control me, I am going to do something about it.

I'm going to make the most of where I am now to determine what makes me happy and what doesn't make me happy. Then, I'll start from there. One step at a time, slowly but surely, I'll be able to take control of my life. I have my good days, and my bad, but I'm on the path to gaining more good days than bad.

It's my hope that if you're in the same situation as me, then maybe, just maybe, you won't feel so alone. We're in this together. We'll figure things out. And I promise you, it's going to be okay.

So where do we go from here?

Hold your head up high. Get out of bed, no matter how tough it is. Try something new, if possible. Put yourself out there. College might not be the best years of your life, but that means that the best is yet to come.