We became friends in the second grade when you moved to our little town. We instantly clicked and were friends ever since. Even though I jumped on your back and causing your head crack open on the cubbies, our friendship still survived. I thought for sure this was going to be a friendship that would stand the test of time.
But time changes everything and people do different things with their lives.
You were there for pretty much every aspect of my life. We would talk on the phone into the wee hours into the night. We talked so late that it would end in me getting my cell phone taken away from me, but we always thought it was worth it. We didn't hang out every single weekend, but we both knew we would always be there for each other. We told each other our deepest secrets all the way through senior year. We trusted each other with anything.
If someone had asked me my senior year if I would still be best friends with the person I am talking about, I would have told you that without a doubt we would still be friends.
The thought of not being friends never crossed my mind. You was there when I got my braces off, you were there when my mom was in the hospital during freshman year, I was there when we thought a certain someone was possibly dead (kinda kidding, kinda not).
Things took a drastic turn out freshman year of college. You went to Niagara University, only a short 45 minute drive from Hilbert. We slowly fell apart by the spring semester. I can't sit here and blame you for everything. I, myself made comments on social media when I was upset and claimed that my college friends were my "real" friends.
It was never meant as a personal attack at you, I honestly couldn't tell you what I was even upset about. These comments were taken the wrong way by more than just her. At this point in my life and at that point, all I could do was apologize. Unfortunately, my apologies weren't accepted.
2 years later and we're still not back to the way we were growing up. What means the most is the letter I got from you on my birthday and that you showed up to my grandma's calling hours. After our fallout those things don't become expected anymore. I just hope one day that our lives will be brought back together.
Sometimes I just wish I could pick up the phone and talk to you. Ask you how your life is. Ask how you get through the day after losing your best friend to cancer. Ask you to be a best friend again.
If you're reading this, just know how sorry I am for everything stupid I ever said.
Know that I love you to pieces and I will still be here for you no matter what the circumstances are. I hope to watch you do amazing things with your future.
