I was diagnosed with ADD when I was eleven. From the beginning, I was always envious of the kids who finished their tests first, read quickly or remembered everything after only being told once. I always wanted to be that kid, but I never was. I always felt slower, and I still have to work twice as hard to catch up with the pace of other students.
Having ADD doesn't make me dumb, it just means I need to use different learning tactics. Sadly, any imperfection is enough to get bullied about. In middle school, teachers almost advertised to the class I had ADD. They would literally call me out for it all the time, and the second the other kids knew, it went downhill. The bullying became so bad, I ended up switching schools.
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When I was first diagnosed (even now), I hated to take my Adderal. I didn't like the thought that a pill will make me focus. I ended up hiding all my medications under my bed. Hundreds and hundreds of pills were kept under my bed, as I convinced my parents that I was taking my ADD medication every morning. Soon enough, my teachers and parents saw that not only was I still doing badly in school, but I was actually doing worse (due to the bullying). I felt that if I took my medicine, I would be accepting that I was stupid and needed medicine to feel smarter (this was my sixth-grade thought process). My parents eventually found the medication under my bed, and I was right back to the doctor. My parents and doctors came up with this whole system just to make sure I took my medicine everything morning. By this time, I was starting high school.
High School made me realize one thing: everyone wants Adderal. Now, for those who have been diagnosed with ADD, you'll understand where I am coming from. I would never sell my Adderal. Anytime someone asks me, I become extremely offended. People actually have the nerve to tell me they are even jealous of me for having ADD. People with ADD do not understand all the hype over wanting Adderal. I hate hearing people talk about how it has become some fun thing for people to get a buzz off of on the weekends. That source of your "buzz," is my biggest nightmare.
The way I see it, Adderal is my way to stay afloat in school. Adderal has helped me stay focused, keep up with the pace in class, and get my homework done. It has helped me to become less paranoid, and less embarrassed during class. With help from teachers, tutors, and my new confidence (from getting good grades), I finally have become the student I want to be.
Being ADD isn't a joke, and it's not a way to make quick cash. It's something that is a very serious, and a frustrating daily obstacle for many, many people.
Here are a few things I hate about having ADD:
Every time a teacher explains an assignment, I have to have it explained several times just to understand it.
I lose my stuff all the time.
I forget what I am saying in the middle of sentences.
I have to read a paragraph 10 times to remember what I just read.
If there is a mark left on a whiteboard that didn't get erased, I will personally go up in the middle of class and erase it so I don't lose my mind.
It has to be dead silent for me to get anything done. If there is even one noise going on, I will go nuts and stop whatever I am doing. I can't concentrate.
I am always last to finish a test.
I will zone out for an entire class.
The littlest things become overwhelming.
I overanalyze everything.
I'll be given one task, and end up doing thirty tasks except the one I was given.
Honestly, I could name a hundred horrible things about ADD, but that's what Google is for.
Bottom line: Having ADD sucks.
