You've all seen them. You know who they are. They're lurking on every campus, creeping and crawling among the shadows. Geeds.

Adorned in their cargo shorts and meme T-shirts, they are a very real and serious epidemic. Worst of all, placed upon their head is the most atrocious article of clothing ever unleashed upon mankind: the fedora. This brimmed, felted woman-repellent is worn only by the geediest of geeds. The geeds think that just because badasses, like Humphrey Bogart, can pull off a fedora, they can too. Instead, they just end up offending the fashion sense of everyone they pass.

How does one avoid the fedora and the descent into geeddom? To answer that question, we must analyze the habits, beliefs and the behaviors of the geed.

1. Classiness.

Fedora wearers like to boast about how classy they are compared to their peers. While there is nothing wrong about wanting to dress or act classy, geeds go about it the wrong way. Being classy isn't about putting others down ("Swag is for boys, class is for men!), it's about putting a legitimate effort into looking and acting mature. Geeds, however, think that being classy means wearing a fedora, pit-stained t-shirt and mom jeans, and acting all pretentious about it. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Pseudo-intellectualism.

Geeds often like to exaggerate their intelligence by being pretentious about things they know little about. They often spout the virtues of intelligence, and while there's nothing wrong with being intelligent and proud of it, they accuse others of being sheep. If your supposed intellectual superiority is your most prominent personality trait, you are probably an unbearable person.

3. Disrespecting women

Many of these geeds claim to be nice guys. They cry and moan that women only go for douchebags and that nice guys never get any girls! While they claim to be nice guys, a lot of them hold sexist beliefs, like women dress too provocatively! and a classy woman serves her man! They complain about being in the non-existent friend zone. They hardly think of girls having their own thoughts and emotions; just as romantic objects. And they wonder why they fail to make any meaningful connections with women.

What have we learned? Don't be like these guys. Ever.