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Dating Apps

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

Ilana Mekler

Dec 30, 2018

The Narrative

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Men, if you're looking to meet people, you got to offer a little more than a bland photo and an even more atrocious bio. You're trying to sell yourself, right? If you're stuck in a rut and wondering why things aren't working out for you, here are 8 features you might have in your bio that is deterring you from finding your soulmate:

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

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Seriously, it's either really blurry or very pixelated and just not flattering. Why are your camera angles so bad?! This isn't Myspace!

2. You have a picture with a fish

Giphy

It's great that you have this hobby, but it's ALL we see. We get it, you're a provider and are trying to be manly.

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

Giphy

If you can't take the time to write something informative about yourself, we're not going to take the time to get to know you. Also, saying "Ask me" or "Add me on Snapchat" doesn't help either.

NEXT.

4. All your pictures are group photos

Giphy

We're not going to spend 15 minutes trying to click through and figure out which one is you. That's too much work. If I wanted to play "Guess Who," I would get it from my closet and invite my friends over for game night, oh, and you're not invited.

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

Giphy

"The Office" is an amazing (duh) show, but the whole "I'm looking for the Pam to my Jim" is way overused.

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

Giphy

We can't really see your face nor can we see your eyes. Do you have something to hide? WHO ARE YOU?

7. You're not smiling

Giphy

Life isn't always that serious, show us what your smile looks like. Or do you not like to smile because you're actually a serial killer?

I mean, men always like to tell us women to smile all the time. I think it's our turn now.

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

Giphy

OK, but you're on a dating app, emphasis on dating, so tell me how that makes sense. Why don't you join Bumble BFF?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

Syllabus Week As Told By Kourtney Kardashian

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

University of Iowa

268

Winter break is over, we're all back at our respective colleges, and the first week of classes is underway. This is a little bit how that week tends to go.

The professor starts to go over something more than the syllabus

Kuwtk Keeping Up With The Kardashians GIFfrom Kuwtk GIFs

You get homework assigned on the first day of class

There are multiple group projects on the syllabus

Kardashian GIFfrom Kardashian GIFs

You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

Professor starts chatting about their personal life and what inspired them to teach this class

Participation is mandatory and you have to play "icebreaker games"

Everybody is going out because its 'syllabus week' but you're laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy

Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

Kourtney Kardashian Keeping Up With The Kardashians GIFfrom Kourtney Kardashian GIFs

Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

Whatever GIFfrom Meh GIFs

Now it's time to get back into the REAL swing of things. Second semester is really here and we all have to deal with it.

syllabus week

Lifestyle

Signs You Worked At Panera Bread In High School

Chips, apple or bread?

Ithaca College

197

Whether you specialized in ringing people up or preparing the food, if you worked at Panera Bread it holds a special place in your heart. Here are some signs that you worked at Panera in high school.

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

Definitely the worst part about working at Panera was the uniform and having someone cute come in. Please don’t look at me in my hat.

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panera bread

Politics and Activism

7 Ways to Make Your Language More Transgender and Nonbinary Inclusive

Making the world safer through language.

University of Pittsburgh

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7 Ways to Make Your Language More Transgender and Nonbinary Inclusive

With more people becoming aware of transgender and non-binary people, there have been a lot of questions circulating online and elsewhere about how to be more inclusive. Language is very important in making a space safer for trans and non-binary individuals. With language, there is an established and built-in measure of whether a place could be safe or unsafe. If the wrong language is used, the place is unsafe and shows a lack of education on trans and non-binary issues. With the right language and education, there can be more safe spaces for trans and non-binary people to exist without feeling the need to hide their identities or feel threatened for merely existing.

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transgender

Recommended for you

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

In This Article:

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

2. You have a picture with a fish

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

4. All your pictures are group photos

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

7. You're not smiling

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

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It's happening.

Excitement

Relief

Excitement (again)

Sadness

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

The professor starts to go over something more than the syllabus

You get homework assigned on the first day of class

There are multiple group projects on the syllabus

You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

Professor starts chatting about their personal life and what inspired them to teach this class

Participation is mandatory and you have to play "icebreaker games"

Everybody is going out because its 'syllabus week' but you're laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy

Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

Chips, apple or bread?

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

2. Chips, apple or bread is probably your most repeated phrase

3. Taking bakery items with you out to parties was a must

4. Taking bakery items home to your parents was also a must (if you wanted to live)

5. Your friends expected you to give them free stuff

6. Being put on dishes made you question humanity

7. You saw everyone and their mother (especially their mothers)

8. Working the opening shift was actually the worst thing to ever happen to you

9. Being able to predict what people would order

10. Making coffee was your least favorite thing to do

11.Being put on the dining room was the absolute WORST

12. Secretly putting in your Panera card number when other people didn’t have them or want them.

13. You would still come in on days you weren’t working to take advantage of your discount

It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

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