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Dating Apps

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

Ilana Mekler

Dec 30, 2018

The Narrative

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Men, if you're looking to meet people, you got to offer a little more than a bland photo and an even more atrocious bio. You're trying to sell yourself, right? If you're stuck in a rut and wondering why things aren't working out for you, here are 8 features you might have in your bio that is deterring you from finding your soulmate:

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

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Seriously, it's either really blurry or very pixelated and just not flattering. Why are your camera angles so bad?! This isn't Myspace!

2. You have a picture with a fish

It's great that you have this hobby, but it's ALL we see. We get it, you're a provider and are trying to be manly.

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

If you can't take the time to write something informative about yourself, we're not going to take the time to get to know you. Also, saying "Ask me" or "Add me on Snapchat" doesn't help either.

NEXT.

4. All your pictures are group photos

We're not going to spend 15 minutes trying to click through and figure out which one is you. That's too much work. If I wanted to play "Guess Who," I would get it from my closet and invite my friends over for game night, oh, and you're not invited.

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

" The Office" is an amazing (duh) show, but the whole "I'm looking for the Pam to my Jim" is way overused.

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

We can't really see your face nor can we see your eyes. Do you have something to hide? WHO ARE YOU?

7. You're not smiling

Life isn't always that serious, show us what your smile looks like. Or do you not like to smile because you're actually a serial killer?

I mean, men always like to tell us women to smile all the time. I think it's our turn now.

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

OK, but you're on a dating app, emphasis on dating, so tell me how that makes sense. Why don't you join Bumble BFF?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

In This Article:

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

2. You have a picture with a fish

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

4. All your pictures are group photos

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

7. You're not smiling

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

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The transition into adulthood is never easy

1. "Unlimited Freedom!"

2. "Dorm Life!"

3. "Never mind, where is my apartment?"

4. "Whose idea was this 8 AM?"

5. I'm so looking forward to that nap."

6. "I don't have the brain capacity for this"

7. "Wow, college is great"

It's easier than you think.

1. Look into Housing and Dining.

2. Pay attention to campus postings.

3. Find common interest groups.

4. Join an intramural sports team.

5. Work on a cause that you care about.

6. Join a club related to your major.

7. Get an on-campus job.

8. Volunteer.

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1. You need people to hang out with.

2. You don’t want to be stuck alone eating lunch or dinner.

3. Weekends suck without anyone to share them with.

4. College will be miserable for you.

5. Finding a roommate for the following year will be impossible.

6. You need someone to talk to about personal stuff or homework that isn’t your mom.

7. Classes will be boring and quiet for you if you don’t know anyone.

8. Walking around campus is just awkward.

9. Homework help and study buddies do not exist.

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1. Comfort

2. Confidence

3. Surprises

4. Self Esteem

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1. You dress for the temperature of the library, not the weather outside.

2. You say hello to the security guard when he or she walks by.

3. The employees at Starbucks know your name and order.

4. You eat all your meals at a library cubby, not at your own house.

5. You take the quiet floors very seriously.

6. Any night you are not at the library is a special occasion.

7. You have shown up to the library hungover on more than one occasion.

8. Your friends always text you when they are going to the library because they know you will be there.

9. You have taken a nap in the library at some point.

10. You know all the cold and hot spots in the library.

11. You've seen your studying pay off.

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