So here it is. An explanation as to why social and dating lives can be a literal mess.
If you are anything like me, relationships are very difficult. Something about the possibility of hurting someone or being hurt is generally a big issue. Just the thought of hurting another person who has been nothing but wonderful to me is a daunting fear of mine that I can not seem to shake. Or being so in your head thinking you will be equally hurt at any given moment is even worse in some cases. The fear of getting attached to someone and then your entire world crashing during a break up is definitely scary.
Not to mention that even everyday anxiety can cause relationship issues. Anxiety comes in many forms. It definitely is not limited to just being nervous or having a panic attack. Sometimes anxiety is as simple as thinking about something for too long and before you know it, your heart is beating uncontrollably for what seems like no reason at all.
Recently I have been having a lot of these issues. The overthinking, confusion, and fear; overthinking about whether or not you and your S.O. are really going to work (when there are no reasons whatsoever that you wouldn't work); being confused about what you are or what you may possibly mess up; and if your anxiety and constant fear about relationships will eventually drive that significant other away. Whatever your tick may be, I am here to tell you that is not the end of the world.
If you are (for some reason) having any doubts or worries about your current relationship, talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend. DO NOT go throughout every single day constantly "wondering" and never give yourself any answers. The worst thing to do is trying to solve these problems (that may not really even be true problems) by yourself. Talking from experience, even if you don't want to talk to your SO about these thoughts, there is always someone willing to listen. Whether it be your best friend, your mom, whomever, these worries will not go away without talking them out.
Don't let your anxieties get the best of you. Majority of the time your partner is more than willing to hear you out instead of ignoring your concerns. Taking the time to explain where your head is at is good for the both of you. It allows you to vent what is on your chest and also gives your significant other a little insight as to what you are going through or thinking about rather than both of you being clueless about the other.
If you are someone who struggles with attachment and anxieties while dating, believe me, you are not alone. I, as well as MANY others, I'm sure, go through the same things. Without a doubt, I can tell whoever is reading this, nearly every couple goes through this at least once, if not more in their relationship. Don't fret, it is completely normal for this to be an experience for you and your partner.
So remember: Talk things out. Express yourself. And most importantly, don't worry unless you absolutely have to.
