Before you continue reading this, I am going to start this off with something you have probably heard in your own head multiple times, yet haven't truly believed it yet. You are going to be amazed at where you will be in 4 years from now. Is that easy for me to say, as I am now past that point in my life and have a plan ahead of me? Absolutely. But don't think that I once sat in your chair, and pondered about what lay ahead for me in the future, worried and scared, just as you are now. You see, I was just like you. I graduated high school with a 2.4 GPA, no intention of going to college, yet no intention on continuing working as a drive through attendant at Burger King. Sometimes, you need to experience life in order to become successful at life.
I was not the best student, I'll admit it. I dozed off in class, let my own mind take over, and before I knew it I was barely able to walk across the stage. Yes, I know you're smiling as you're reading this because somebody finally understands you. I wasn't dedicated to my studies, and I was never appreciative of them until I experienced life. Some of my classmates were extremely committed to attending a University in my state as soon as they graduated from high school, but I never felt that drive, and I have to say I was a tad bit jealous of them. I wanted to have a high grade point average, but I never could find myself actually putting in the effort. So what did I do? I walked my overweight self into the recruiters office, and signed up for the Navy. See, my parents had a strict rule, "Either you attend college, or you join the military" (Jennifer Waddell, 2011-2015). I could not find any motivation to even finish my local community college application, so I picked the "easier" route and joined the Navy.
My first wake up call was my weight. In order to join the Navy, you have to be within a certain weight limit correlated to your height. So I went to work, then left for the gym to workout for 3-4 hours a day. 6 months later and 20 pounds lighter, I boarded a plane and left for boot camp. 2 months later, I boarded a flight for Pensacola, Florida, to attend schooling to learn my job. If you're thinking that maybe I've grown up enough to appreciate schooling by this point, I'm going to have to disappoint you by saying that you're wrong. I partied hard, and I studied none. But, being the Navy, everyone graduates and moves on to their official first squadron.
This is where I started growing up, only a year after graduating high school. I wanted to be the best at what I did, to take pride in my work, and I worked hard. I received all of my qualifications in record time, and within a year, while at the measly rank of an E-3, I was put into a shop called Troubleshooters. Now, those selected are usually E-5 or above, so to be trusted to do the job of someone who was two ranks ahead of me, you can say I was really proud. My pilots were proud of me, and most importantly I was finally proud of something I had worked for. I got to run a flight schedule every day, and when a jet broke down during startup, I was trusted to tell the pilot the exact steps on how to fix it. I continued being a part of that shop, up until I transferred to my next squadron, where they saw my work ethic and confirmed my abilities. Within a month, I was placed once again in the Troubleshooter shop, while on a full-fledged deployment. I did the same job, except this time, my job meant more and meant America's safety. We worked extremely hard to maintain a 100% combat sortie completion rate, which meant that when we were actively dropping bombs overseas, our squadron never missed a flight. To have that consistent pride, is something I would have never gained going to school at that age. However, during the times we weren't busy, all I wanted was to learn. I knew I was leaving the service soon, and with everything I had gotten to experience, and the confidence I unknowingly placed in myself, I suddenly had a desire to learn. I wanted to better myself, and I was finally ready to take the leap and become the student my inner self had craved years prior. Instead of letting my fears take over and stop myself from accepting change, I used those same fears to solidify plans to enroll myself in school. I can't lie, I still had doubts about myself. I had doubts all the way until stepping foot into my first class, and that was when I realized I had something else to be proud of- myself. For the first time, I was confident that even though I left something that I was great at, I had made a perfect decision.
Rabindranath Tagore once said that "We insist upon forced mental feeding and our lessons become a form of torture." (Tagore, pg. 42). In my experience, he is right. If I had followed the path that my family and friends had taken, I would've been a college dropout. I needed to experience life, before I desired education. The lessons learned in high school in no way compared to the lessons I learned in the military, experienced on my own, through my day to day actions, unrelated to any form of education. I learned how to cope with the battle of being a part of a jet that crashed, killing the pilot flying it. Through that, I learned that I was confident in my ability to do my job, because I had played a part in calling it safe to fly, and that call was a factual call. I learned how to grieve, but not second guess my own judgement. That lesson is not one a teacher can give, only one that a human being has to experience.
Mr. Tagore also says that "They have the freedom to grow, which is the greatest possible gift to a child." (Tagore, pg. 43). Feeling pressured to go to college is normal, but you don't have to go immediately, or at all. If you aren't ready, then my best advice is to go experience life itself. Get a job, join the military even, and experience hard-earned pride. Show yourself your ability to succeed in something you didn't imagine yourself doing, and harness that confidence. Use it to better yourself, when you feel ready! Your path doesn't have to match anyone else's, it is yours and yours alone.
To the student reading this, you are going to be great someday. I know you're reading this either because your guidance counselor forced you too, or maybe you don't want to disappoint your family and you're trying to find someone to tell you that you can do this. I hate to break it to you, but I can't do that for you. The fact of the matter is that no one can do that for you, except yourself. The only way to accomplish the fear of the unknown is to have confidence in yourself and to take that scary leap of faith. I'll paint a picture for you. You, the barely graduating senior, has to blindly jump off a safe cliff into the unknown of college, because your family is forcing you too. You don't feel ready, you're scared, and you have no idea how far you're going to fall. You need that confidence, that voice inside of your brain telling you that you got this, that you are going to land on both feet and take off running. With that confidence finally earned, you jump only to realize that it was about a 2 feet descend. Confused, you shrug it off, start running, and end up better in a way you thought you'd never become. Your path might not make sense in the beginning, I can assure you mine didn't make sense until the near end. But once it does, and you understand that you have the ability to literally do whatever it is your heart is begging your brain to do, you will succeed. Those goals that seemed unattainable, will be attained. Your parents, your friends, and most importantly yourself, will be proud of who you will become. Take that leap when you feel ready, and I promise you, you will know when you're ready. It will be the most amazing feeling of your life, as you know it.
With Faith,
Kaylee Waddell