It’s a common fact that people tend to favor one person over another. In fact, favoritism is seen everywhere: in workplaces, in schools and in families. In workplaces, favoritism reveals itself in many different forms. It can be different ways in which employees are treated, unfairly awarded bonuses and promotions or favors given in the job application process. Often, however, bosses play favorites in more subtle but equally disturbing ways; for example, an employer may chat with some employees more than with others or use a friendlier tone with a select few workers. Also in schools, teachers may give unfair advantages, grade one student’s essay more leniently than others’ or offer more help and advice only to her favorite students. Parents and relatives also often favor one child over another, offering better gifts and more attention to their favorite child.
If someone in your life has ever favored another person over you, then you probably know how much it sucks to not be the favored one. If you are the favored one, then you probably aren’t aware of favoritism as much as the non-favored person is, since you have never consciously experienced the negative aspect of favoritism. You may actually even enjoy receiving special treatment. Either way, the effects of favoritism can be quite devastating for all parties involved.
At work, non-favored employees may feel neglected and unnoticed, which could lead to decreased productivity and efficiency. Favored employees also feel the unexpected blow of favoritism that sneaks in hidden under the seemingly harmless perks and special treatment; they become overconfident in their abilities, aware of their special treatment and believe themselves to be better than those who are not given such treatment. These conditions will certainly not promote a sunny atmosphere filled with encouragements and co-worker love. Favoritism in schools can also produce similar results, with non-favored students feeling left alone and unloved, which is especially critical at a time when they are learning about the world around them and needing love and attention.
Most parents would deny liking one child better than another, but parents are human too and can’t escape the innate nature that causes them to unconsciously cherish a certain child more. A study’s results published by researchers from the University of California proved just this: of the 384 families studied, 65 percent of the mothers and 70 percent of the fathers showed preference for a certain child. Because these parents were aware of the fact that they were being observed for signs of preference, it is very likely that these numbers could be higher. Preference for a certain child, unchecked and unrestrained, can leave children aware of their different statuses in their parents’ eyes. The golden child, or the favored child, may become dependent upon and even expect special treatment from not only parents but also everyone else in the world, leaving him to face the harsh reality that he is special only in his parents’ eyes. His confidence may even be so inflated that he doesn’t attempt develop himself, falsely believing that he is already good enough to be liked without trying. The unfavored child can struggle with depression and emotional confusion, unable to understand why he is not the preferred or favored child. He may also suffer from low self-esteem and continue to desperately seek parental love and favor long after leaving home.
Favoritism and preference are common and natural among humans, but when uncontrolled and unchecked they can leave lifelong scars on both the favored and non-favored parties.
