For years I’ve been trying to figure out what’s so wrong with the “f” word. I use it all the time. It’s an integral part of my vocabulary. Sometimes when I’m discussing social issues with people and I get heated, it needs to be used. Sometimes there’s just no other way to use it than to scream it until someone finally hears you.

Feminism. Society treats it like a dirty word. People say “I’m not a feminist but…” Why? Why aren’t you a feminist? Feminism has such a bad reputation in modern culture because people believe that if I am a feminist, I think women are better than men. That I want all men to burn in hell along with their privilege. That I want to be a single mother and no male influence may ever come to my child. That’s where society needs to work on its vocabulary a little bit.

Feminism (noun) – the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men

Misandry (noun) - dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men

Equality is the ultimate goal of feminism. Anyone who says that women are better, or think all men are pigs, or think that men are not as intelligent as women, are simply not feminists. Part of the reason that feminism gets a bad name is that misandrists, who believe themselves to be feminists, parade around spewing a rhetoric of hate for the male species. Thus those who truly believe that men and women of all races should be equal are told that they should be ashamed for being feminists and spewing hate speech. But misandry isn’t the sole reason feminism has a bad name.

“When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression”

If you are continuously the sole person to get a special table at a restaurant, through no fault of your own, eventually you’ll expect that every time you go to that restaurant, you’ll sit at that same table. Then suddenly, when someone else gets your table you have to wonder, “What did they do to deserve that seat? I eat here all of the time, I tip well, I DESERVE to sit there.”

The same applies to women in their fight to get to the same level as men. We have always been seen as lower, weaker beings that are there to help the men above them. So finally when we get to a comparable level, it feels like we are taking things away from the men that have already made their presence there. We are threatening. Obviously we slept our way to the top. Our daddy must know someone. We are not accomplished enough to succeed on our own without having cheated the system somehow.

We defend ourselves, to hear that we’re overreacting and we aren’t taken seriously, so we scream a little louder to be heard. When we still aren't, we stop worrying about those men who tell us we are being unreasonable. And that’s where we cannot proclaim “misandry!” where misandry is not. Women fighting to be equal, to smash the patriarchy, and aren't worried about what men think in the process are not misandrists. Women fighting to ruin every man who crosses their path are.

Fuck the idea that "feminism" is a bad word, and fuck the idea that you're offending someone by calling yourself one.