It’s kind of hard to put this all into words if it’s not something I really talk about. I’ve always just been one to keep things to myself, because I don’t want the pity from others. I finally decided it was time to share my story, because I know that although the people I surround myself with haven’t experienced this situation, others out there have.
I know a lot of people have an idea of what happened to my family and I, but really only my close friends and family know what really happened. I lost my father. No, my father did not pass away, but he was deported almost 2,000 miles away from my family and I, so yes, I lost my father. After my father had come to the United States at the age of 19 and lived here for 43 years and had raised 5 children, he was still deported after only one mistake. He wasn’t even given any other options other than deportation. The unfairness behind the criminal system in unbelievable. My father had spent 43 years working harder than anyone I know in a country that he considered his home but yet after a single mistake they didn’t think twice to send him back to where he was born. Mexico wasn’t his home anymore; he hadn’t been there in 43 years. At the age of 62, how do you expect someone to just start their life all over again? He was forced to leave behind his entire life: his belongings, job, children, friends, and family. Before he was deported I remember my mom was allowed to drop off a suitcase under a certain weight limit for him to take with him to Mexico. How do you expect someone to pack their entire life up in a suitcase and just figure out what to do in a now foreign country to them? My father left where he was born to come to the United States for more opportunities and a better place to have a family of his own. Before he was deported all of my siblings and I wrote letters asking for forgiveness of my father’s mistake, so that he would maybe be allowed to stay. We also reached out to his friends of many years, his boss, and our neighbors to write about how he deserved to stay and be with his family. But, nothing worked. My father was in jail for about 9 months before being actually deported because they were trying to figure out what his punishment was actually going to be. I would make up excuses to tell my friends as to why I couldn’t hangout because I was embarrassed to say I was going to visit my father in jail. At the age of 14, I didn’t really want to explain to my friends why all of a sudden they wouldn’t be seeing my father at my house when they came over and why my father couldn’t give us rides home from school anymore. It was a depressing feeling knowing I could only see my father at most once a week for only an hour at a time. I was also only allowed to see him through a glass window and only hear his voice through a phone. And now, I have to pay for every single minute I want to talk to my father on the phone. He doesn’t even have a cell phone so I can’t send him a quick text to let him know if something is going on or if I just need someone to talk to because where he lives now doesn’t have service lines for a cell phone to work. I can’t go visit him either because I don’t have the money due to having to pay for school and because of the high crime rate of where he has to live and he doesn’t want me in that type of environment. My father wasn’t there to teach me how to drive, meet my first boyfriend, celebrate my 18th birthday, attend my high school graduation, help me move into college, and most likely won’t be able to walk me down the aisle one day. Appreciate your father.
I don’t sit and mope around the situation that has impacted my life most and no, I don’t need you to feel bad for me either. Bad things happen to everyone, that’s just how it goes. I wanted to hopefully open the eyes of others in hopes that they would take different perspective into things, because things like this do happen to people every day. More people need to open their eyes and realize that many people go through many things. I did not ask for this situation to happen to me nor did anyone else going through a tough situation. Be cautious about what you say you don’t know what’s going on in the lives of the people around you. Be thoughtful for those who hide things from others in fear of judgment and confrontation and be considerate of others feelings.
It upsets me when people complain about their parents being too strict or not giving them what they want because you truly never know when something or someone will be taken away from you. I’ll be honest and say that I took having my father in my life for granted and didn’t appreciate the time I did get to spend with him as much as I should have before he was taken away from me. It was so unexpected and without warning I never would have thought one day he would out of the blue be gone. Be happy and know how lucky you are if you get to at least go home and physically hug your parents. It’s very cliché to say you never realize how important something is until it’s gone, but I couldn’t stress it enough. I haven’t spent a single day with my father in almost 5 years and still cry every time we end a phone call. There aren’t words for me to explain the things I would do for just one day with him. Appreciate being able to spend time with your parents for those who don’t have the privilege too.
