Father's Day is really difficult for me. I've been struggling for years to properly celebrate my dad. I've struggled because I failed to appreciate my dad for all of the things he is, and, instead, I adopted the tendency to focus on all of the things he is not.
Our relationship severed some heartstrings. The jagged edges of disappointments fueled by unfulfilled potential, heated arguments that produced cutting words, and missed opportunities for forgiveness all severed a heartstring or two throughout the years of my youth.
He wasn't a perfect dad. I wasn't a perfect daughter. Our imperfections lead to untethered heartstrings that attached themselves to ungratefulness and a lack of appreciation. My misappropriated heartstrings prevented me from recognizing my dad's finer qualities, the sacrifices that he made, and the love that he lavished on my family.
Failing to recognize the positive qualities of my father for so many years has made Father's Day difficult. Even so, I long to cherish my dad. As I grow up, I hope to cauterize the severed heartstrings of disappointment and ungratefulness. I yearn for closeness with my father.
Our relationship isn't beyond repair. The negative feelings I have harbored toward be dad can be absolved. In fact, all of the pain, discomfort, and difficulty that my relationship with my dad has endured can be remedied by a simple salve. The salve of grace and forgiveness.
So here's to you dad.
Dear Dad,
In light of Father's Day I feel it appropriate to confess that I have failed you. I have failed to celebrate all that you are. Instead, I let myself linger in the realm of disappointment for all that you are not. Your contribution to my life has been underappreciated. You haven't been cherished in the way that you deserve.
You truly are a gift. Our relationship was designed by God himself. What a beautiful thing that is! It is a privilege to have a man in my life who provided for me, supported me, protected me and believed in me. I am only beginning to understand the immense pressure you were under as a father. You had four mouths to feed and a wife to love. The handbook you received on how to be a great father was incomplete. And, yet, you did the best you knew how.
You never gave up on me.
You loved me fiercly.
This Father's Day I have resolved to neglect the shortcomings, imperfections and disappointments that I have learned to rehearse every year around this time so as not be fooled into celebrating someone who has hurt me. I am not going to dwell on the ways you have let me down. The offenses you committed against me will be forgiven. And the longing in my heart for a perfect father will be transfigured into appreciation for the day when both you and I will meet the perfect Father in heaven.
Love,
Your Youngest Daughter
Father's Day can be difficult for many of us. Especially, for those who don't have a father-figure in their life.
Disappointments, shortcomings, and imperfections aside, none of us have a perfect dad. None of us will experience a perfect father and child relationship this side of heaven.
We must choose, will we dwell on the things that were not, or will we glorify God for the things that someday will be. We all have a Father to appreciate today. Some of us just won't see Him until we arrive at the pearly gates of heaven. Until then, may we make the most of the relationships we have been given on this earth through freely extended grace and forgiveness.
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