Have you ever seen a kid acting bad in public and you think to yourself, "Where are their parents?" Then, with an eye-roll to follow, you see their parents and suddenly everything makes sense. Whether we like it or not, our kids are usually a reflection of our behaviors and thoughts. Of course, as they get older, they learn new ideologies, habits, and thoughts. But, as little kids, they're essentially a mini version of yourself.
Our generation always fixates on how we want our children to look and act. Posts on Twitter of an unrealistic looking toddler with the caption, "goals," doesn't seem to help, either. Something that I see on social media is the phrase, "My daughter will act like this" and it's usually accompanied with a video of a little girl "who don't need no man."
It's great to see our generation wanting our daughters to be strong and independent. But, it's a catch. How can we expect our daughters to be independent when we tweet something like: "I need a man to buy me _____." No, you are part of the problem if you do that. Our children learn from our actions and our ideologies. If we see men as something we need or as a bank account, they will too. You can't be an independent woman and have a boyfriend as a human bank account at the same time.
Everyone wants their children to love themselves and be confident in who they are. Nobody would want their child to feel like they aren't good enough or that something was wrong with them. So, why do we hate ourselves and constantly pick out our own flaws? If your parent constantly fixates on the negativity of their body, you start to do the same - especially at a young age.
Children are sponges and our actions and ideas are the water that they hold onto. Once squeezed, we start to see just how much of an influence we have on them. The child whose dad degrades women soon believes them to be inferior and the little girl whose mom seeks men for only sex doesn't know what real love is. Not only do we have to be good people for ourselves, but we have to be great people for our children.
The song "Daughters" by John Mayer perfectly reflects the impact of parents on their children:
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
So, put down your phone and erase the tweet of that perfectly dressed Pinterest toddler. Instead, pick up a mirror and view the reflection as what could be another you running around. Would you be happy if your child turned out just like you? Would they love themselves and find beauty in all or would they think they're destined for only a future of sorrow?
