Brooklyn, Michigan’s own Faster Horses Festival lives by Florida Georgia Line’s lyrics, “Everybody goes where everybody knows that anything goes.” For the last four years, Faster Horses Festival has been host to some of the biggest country artist’s such as Tim McGraw, Miranda Lambert, Luke Bryan, Carrie Underwood, and other stars in country music. The three day festival hosts country music fans from all over the state and country alike for what they like to call “Three Day Hillbilly Sleepover.” This sleepover consist of camping, bonfires, country music, party games at every campsite, and of course, partying… redneck style. To get you through the weekend smoothly, I have created a survival guide for everything that is Faster Horses Festivals. Disclaimer, this event does involve an immense amount of drinking activities, therefore, jokes and preparation will be mentioned throughout this article. We have all been young once, enjoy.
Survival Tip 1: Get a crew “FAM” to go with you to the festival
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Faster Horses Festival is a weekend full of country music, friends, and memories. We all know our “FAMs” are the most outgoing, crazy friends we have. You will need an energetic group of friends that is willing be at every concert, stay up into the early morning hours and stumble with you back to your campsite. Plus, splitting up the price of the campsite, splitting up gas money, and having your closest friends to help you set up the campsite will make the beginning through conclusion of your festival experience run smoothly.
Survival Tip 2: Make a playlist for the festival and stay charged
Get your Spotify and playlists ready because you will want them for this weekend. Standing in a crowd of 40,000 people and not knowing a majority of the songs you are listening to can be rather uncomfortable. Make sure to check the lineup for the festival and make a playlist that you can listen to in the car on the way to the festival and all weekend long. Also, getting a portable charger would be a great idea to charge your phone to keep the playlist bumping all weekend. They can be purchased at Target for $5 in the “dollar section."
Survival Tip 3: Bring as much money as you can
While three days may not seem like a long time, pretty much anything can happen. After attending the festival for the last two years, I can tell you that you need to plan for the worst possible scenario. Plan for if your car breaks down. Plan for if your tent is missing a piece you did not know about. Plan for buying local vendor’s food and drinks that can be pricey. Plan for the necessary (yes, I said necessary) booze run. Anything you can think of, plan for it. It is safe to say that bringing $150 to $200 would not be a bad idea.
Survival Tip 4: Saving money on food and beverages
Saving money on food and beverages for Faster Horses Festival is easy.
“But wait Jill, how do avoid eating PB&J’s all weekend?”
Buying a portable grill and propane tank is the cheapest way to eat at the festival. At last year’s festival, my sister and I were able to bring a frying pan and make eggs, bacon, campfire nachos, hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled cheese, you name it! Eating cheap at this festival requires getting a little bit creative. Make sure to stock up on water, beer, and liquor before the event considering the only free beverage at the festival is water. Beer and liquor are a tad overpriced, so save money and plan ahead. Just get yourself a cooler and you are set for the weekend.
Survival Tip 5: Get yourself anything that screams Merica’
If it has an American flag, Camo, or anything on it that screams “I love America”, you need it for Faster Horses Festival. Ladies, American flag bathing suits are not “basic” here, they are a staple. Gentlemen, if I do not see a baseball hat with anything including Chevy, Ford, John Deer, etc. turned around on your head, go get one. This festival is a judgement free zone, unless of course you decide to wear your $300 pair of cowboy boots (they will be ruined after day one). Be comfortable, be you, and get your country on. Oh, and do not forget your horse head mask if you have one.
Survival Tip 6: Plan for any kind of weather
“Anything goes” at Faster Horses Festival, which means plan for any kind of weather. Make sure to plan for rain, wind, thunderstorms, extreme heat, monsoons, snow, hail… we live in Michigan, it is possible.
Survival Tip 7: Pack light!
This one goes out to my ladies! I know we all want to wear every cute “country girl” outfit we own. Let’s just face the fact that we are not meeting Luke Bryan, we are going to have a drunken weekend that we may or may not remember. The festival is mid-July, so dressing light is advised. That means bathing suits, cutoffs, crop tops, flip flops, hats, pony tails, bandanas, and the occasional sweatshirt for bonfires is advised. A few of everything is your best bet.
Survival Tip 8: Be campsite savvy
Having a campsite at this festival is like having your bedroom at home for 10 people. Fitting everyone on the campsite is an art. Most people can get away with two to three tents per campsite as long as they do not fit six or more party goers. Make sure to check out the website for camping guidelines and know that only one car can be on each site. Everyone else would have to park in a lot for $30 for the whole weekend. Again, bring extra money. Make sure to bring firewood to save money and a fire ring as well as it is required for all fires. We do not need any drunken fools walking through fire pits. Finally, make your campsite stand out! It will help you find it when you are headed home for the evening. Do not think putting the American flag on your campsite will help you remember where it is because pretty much everyone has them! Always remember where you are staying with your campsite name, row, and site number.
Survival Tip 9: Shower Early
While the words “shower” and “camping” sound oxymoronic together, Faster Horses Festival does provide showers at each site. If you really plan on showering, you will need to pull yourself out of your hangover each morning and head off to the showers. There will be times that the campsite sets out for the showering facilities, so ask your site crew for more information.
Survival Tip 10: Get accustomed with Porta-Johns
We all have a love-hate relationship with them, but Porta-Johns are a key to surviving Faster Horses Festival. They will be at every campsite and can be purchased for individual campsites so you can have your very own, how exciting. If you are not one to use a Porta-John, the nearest restroom is probably in the Infield campsite, which is always busy and just as dirty. This will be a weekend of coming to terms with “first world problems” and learning to tough it out a tad without the comfort of indoor plumbing. I promise it is doable.
Survival Tip 11: Decide what kind of concert-goer you would like to be
Everyone enjoys concerts differently whether it is right up front crammed on the gate, in the back dancing like a drunken fool, on someone’s shoulders overlooking the crowd, in a lawn chair observing the craziness or up on the hill watching a beautiful sight of a drunken country music family. If you plan to be at the front, get there at 4 p.m. if you want to stand seven hours until the main act begins. If you plan on sitting in a lawn chair, make sure it fits the guidelines that the festival has set out. Whatever your preference, know what kind of concert goer you are so you can enjoy your experience.
Survival Tip 12: Party in the Infield
If you are looking for a party each day and night, head for the Infield. For some reason, this group of festival attendees tends to be the rowdiest. Drinking games, truck bed pools, dancing, bonfires, and everything that screams “redneck party heaven” can be found in the Infield. See you there.
Survival Tip 13: Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate
Regardless of your age, you will need to stay hydrated with water this weekend. Remember to drink responsibly because a trip to the hospital is never fun. Take care of your friends and know your limits. Stay classy my friends.
Survival Tip 14: Go out in groups.
Go out in groups! It is very easy to get lost. I can say from experience, being lost at this festival is a nightmare than no one wants to experience. As inviting as everyone is, you eventually have to get back to reality Monday morning.
Survival Tip 15: Be ready for the best weekend of your life!
I cannot begin to describe how insane of a weekend you are getting yourself into if you are heading to Faster Horses Festival. There is absolutely nothing like it in Michigan and I promise it is worth every penny. Just be ready to get very little sleep and make some amazing memories with your friends. See yawl there!
Be sure to visit http://fasterhorsesfestival.com/ for more information!
