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To All The Fast-Food Restaurants I Loved Before

I'm talking about you Sonic (and Taco Bell, Canes, In-N-Out Burger, etc).

Madison McNulty

Sep 09, 2018

Louisiana State University

To All The Fast-Food Restaurants I Loved Before

Netflix

From Sonic's Chicago dog to Taco Bell's supreme crunch wrap, the fast-food industries had it all, but most importantly, they had my heart. I felt guilty every time I'd show up at your drive-thru window, but after one bite, you would make all my guilt melt away. I knew you were bad for me, but I didn't care. The heart wants what it wants, and my heart wants a Canes' chicken combo.

You are all so perfect in your own ways; it was always so difficult to pick just one place to run to for a shameless meal. The daunting question still haunts me in my sleep, "What do you want to eat?" The second this unsolvable dilemma would hit my ears, my head would begin to scramble. "Do I want to eat healthily?" I'd think to myself. Often, the answer was no. But I never knew whose window to run to. There were so many options. Do I want waffle fries or a greasy burger? Mexican or Chinese? The possibilities were endless.

Even when I wanted to somewhat care about my body, I'd go to you, Chick-fil-A. Your grilled-chicken sandwich never failed to give me some peace of mind, knowing that I was eating some form of nutrients for an affordable price. Your service does not go unappreciated.

Especially in my drunken state, I'd think of you the most, Sonic. I'd tell myself I wouldn't hit you up at 2 a.m., but there I was every time, at your doorstep. Your amazing selection of what appears mostly to be concession stand food always filled my heart with love, and cholesterol. From the $0.50 corn-dog-days to your two-for-one shakes happy hour, I'd always be at your beck and call.

My relationship with you beautiful restaurants is a bad romance, to say the least. But it is time for us to part. It is time to leave my freshmen 15 in the past. It has been a long, beautiful four years, but our love (actually my money) is fleeting and it is time to close this chapter in our life.

Goodbye for now, fast-food. The next time I see you all again will be at my wedding because I'm definitely making sure at least one of your fine establishments are catering it (@ Sonic). You will be missed.

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To All The Fast-Food Restaurants I Loved Before

I'm talking about you Sonic (and Taco Bell, Canes, In-N-Out Burger, etc).

Subscribe to our Newsletter

All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!