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Farting In Relationships

Farting is a big deal for some relationships and for others it's just a fart.

Pamela Peigler

May 18, 2016

Western Illinois University

Bing.com

Some people do it some people don’t. Farting in front of others is a big deal for some people like me but one of my best friends can fart in front of her boyfriend constantly. Here are the reasons why I cannot simply execute the farting mission.

I don’t want to see his reaction when I rip a loud one or let out a silent but deadly. It is too risky to see his reaction. He farted in front of me several times, but they are silent killers rather than noisemakers. His reaction to his smelly farts is to giggle and smirk. I find it funny but the stench, not so much.
I try to be classy and fit into gender norms of being a lady, so I don’t fart in front of most people unless it is my mom. My mom hears me rip loud ones and we laugh about it, but I am not ready to share that experience with my boyfriend.
Some things are better left un-smelled. I want to keep some things about me a mystery for as long as possible, and farts are one of them. I don’t want it to change the status of our intimacy. I don’t want him to think of me as a gross, smelly savage rather than a beauty who cares about him.
It is so new that it could change the dynamic of things. Next thing I know he could pee or go number two with the door open and nobody wants that. I don’t want to get too comfortable so he changes his mind about me.

Farts from a female are different than a male because of gender rules and pressure of being a classy lady. I haven’t farted in front of my new boyfriend, but I am sure that eventually one day I will let one slip. Hopefully it won’t be deadly.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Farting In Relationships

Farting is a big deal for some relationships and for others it's just a fart.

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For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

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