6 People You'll Meet After Joining FarmersOnly | The Odyssey Online
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6 People You'll Meet After Joining FarmersOnly

You don't have to be lonely, but with these options, that might actually be preferred.

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6 People You'll Meet After Joining FarmersOnly
Public Domain Pictures

You’ve heard the saying: “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

Well, when you’re more at home at a honky-tonk than on a houseboat, that popular phrase might not apply. If “There’s plenty of fruit in the field” sounds more your style, then it’s time to join Farmers Only Dot Com! Once there, you’re sure to meet some fascinating farm folk.

Here are the only six root-tootin’, boot-scootin’ members on the site that you'll come across!

1. Sammi

Sammi here is an up-and-coming Nashville superstar. She’s got the voice of an angel (or so says her bio) and would love to serenade you about tractors, trucks, and all things Tennessee. Born, raised, and currently living in New York City, she sure knows how to capture that magical back roads spirit in her music. She carries her guitar with her everywhere, too, no matter how inconvenient it might be—how dedicated! She’s on her way to stardom, and you better send her a flirt now if you want to be there when she makes the big stage.

2. Daniel

Daniel isn’t a farmer. He’s just a sorry loser who can’t get laid anywhere. He’s tried the traditional dating route, speed dating, and all those other dating sites (even Christian Mingle). Nothing. He thought maybe he might get lucky on FarmersOnly, but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s interested in him here, either. Poor Daniel.

3. Tucker

Tucker will lasso you up with that dreamy smile and take you out on the ride of your life. Get your boots and spurs ready for a romance worthy of the gun-shootin’, highfalutin Wild Wild West. Ridin’ on the back of his wild stallion, wearin' his twenty-gallon hat, cookin’ some beans on a cracklin’ campfire out in the snake-infested wilderness—you’ll never get bored with this real-life cowboy. Every day with Tucker sure is one helluva rodeo.

4. Old MacDonald

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he was lonely, E-I-E-I-O. With a boo hoo here and a boo hoo there, here a boo, there a hoo, everywhere a boo hoo, Old MacDonald cried a lot, E-I-E-I-O. He just joined FarmersOnly, E-I-E-I-O. And now he’s going out on dates, E-I-E-I-O. With a country girl here and a city girl there, here a dude, there a pig, everywhere a new date, but Old MacDonald was still lonely, E-I-E-I-O. Maybe one day he’ll find “the one”.

5. Clarabelle

Clarabelle just wants to pick tomatoes, churn butter, and ride her tractorette. She’s not really looking for love. She’s not really ready for a relationship. She’s not even sure what FarmersOnly is—her granddaughter recommended she make a profile after her ex-husband left her for a Zamboni driver in the big city. If you’re looking for a real low-tech, hard-workin’ girl, Clara might be a good match!

6. Bessie

Bessie’s a real country girl. She’s got some really delicious curves and loves just hangin’ out in a green grass pasture. She’s never had a beef with anybody and is always in a good moooood. Definitely a keeper, a blue-ribbon gal. Just make sure to steer clear of any country fair, or she might get auctioned off to someone who’s only interested in butchering her up and selling her off, piece by tasty piece, to anyone who’s hungry for a good rump steak.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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