As a new student at college, a huge part of my life has become the constant acclimation to new environments. Environments that I have thrown myself into quickly and without thought, or rather without any thought until i'm waist deep into them. This thing, this “college”, is now ALL I can think about. It is my new reality. It is a reality that I have entered at full speed, unaware of what it means. It means freedom, and freedom is a tricky thing.
Imagine you're walking down an abandoned road, exiled from the world that seems so luxurious, the adult world. Freedom is like a carnival you see in the distance so grand and breathtaking. And so you walk down that road, getting closer everyday. Soon the smell of fried food is wafting up into your nose, filling you with delight. You can hear the faint screams of ride rider and see the top of the ferris wheel, the people at the tippy top beckoning you to come ride with them. In no long time at all you have reached the gates and without so much as a glance back you rush into its splendour. However, once you get inside something hits you like a bolt from the heavens, a sudden realization that you had somehow forgotten. You are terrified of clowns! Now Bozo is shoving his thick red wig in your face and excitedly honking his ghastly rubber nose as you regret ever entering the carnival in the first place. Similarly to how Bozo the nose honking clown makes you want to run for the hills, the newfound freedom that is yours upon moving away to college can be quite daunting at times. The trick to this fancy facade of freedom is its all powerful pull on us. As we ceaselessly strive for freedom, we forget that at some point we will grasp it. But once we obtain our ever so lovely looking freedom, wrapped up in a pretty little bow, then what? This is the ongoing question facing me as I emerge myself in college life, timidly charging forward into my own future...
Now what?
Now that I have all of this freedom, what do I do with it? And so, this freeness develops a growing intimidation. Freedom becomes a hooded figure, floating about in a long black robe,constantly staring you in the face and asking, “Are you ready?” Suddenly, and to my own surprise, I am finding myself unsure of the answer. Am I ready for this new part of my life that I have entered, this free part? Before this moment I had not thought to look back, and now I am being sucked in full force. I am unable to undo what has already been done, so now I have to learn how to live with it. And so I will.
