To my 'Family':

Over 2,000 miles is between us, and you still find a way to make yourself even further away from me. This letter is not meant to 'bash' anyone, but is my honest feelings of the way you have treated me throughout the last twenty-two years of my life. I have no way of knowing when or if you will see this, but this letter is more for me than it is for you. This is my way of coping, moving on, and finding a way to heal what you have broken.

I have been filled with resentment, anger, confusion, and hurt my entire life. From birth, you had it out for me. You managed to physically hurt me as a baby, and I still have the story and the scars as reminders. You claimed that I "wanted to get down" from your lap, and proceeded to place me on top of a radiator. That was no mistake and we both know it. My Mom swore that she would never leave me alone with you, and thankfully she kept that promise. Who knows what other types of physical abuse you could have inflicted upon me when no one was around.

I spent the early years of my life in the shadow of the cousin who was less than a month older than me. She could do no wrong but I could never do anything up to your standards. Holidays were spent seeing what her and her sister received; pretty dresses, toys in the large boxes, and everything they could have wished for. On my end, I received plastic toys from the Dollar Store and a birthday card "When you remembered". Funny how you remembered her, but never me. It didn't matter though, because I was always grateful. I can only imagine how much that must have bothered you, to know that you spitefully treated me worse, and I was more thankful than the other two have ever been.

As I got older, I could see it for myself. I was aware of the way you treated the other two, how they were your favorites, and I was the outcast. It became normal to me and I rolled with the punches. You continued to blame me for everything and anything, and always put me on the back burner. My dance recitals were not a priority, because you could not imagine missing a minute of the other's lives. As I went through my early adolescent years, I would voice to my parents, "Why doesn't she like me?". They never were able to answer that question, so it's something I'll never know the answer to.

As time dragged on, you all decided to leave. You packed up, said you would call, and went to the other side of the U.S. That was the best present you ever gave to me. I no longer had to find ways to avoid going to your house, or make up excuses as to why I didn't want to stay the night with you. I feared you and I no longer had to.

You still called, wrote, and sent things "When you had the money". Interestingly, I always found out what the others received from you. It's funny how you had the money for them, but never for me. Two more grandchildren came your way, and you couldn't be more delighted. I was still the outcast, but now I was doing better than my competition. I was ahead of her in school, doing better with my grades, and in many extra curricular activities.

Time passed on quickly, and finally 1 last grandchild arrived. My sweet baby brother somehow was your new favorite. Maybe, subconsciously, you were trying to redeem yourself for how you treated me. You never missed an opportunity to send him a card or gift, and you most definitely did not miss his birthday. I realized that you still treated me like crap, and this was another way for you to make it known that I was less than everyone else.

Here, things started to go downhill quickly. Not one, but both of your sons, were ill. You made a point to come here right away, and tried to be 'Super Mom'. Both of your boys were able to see through your bull crap. One son was healed, but the other was in his final days. You tried to redeem yourself in any way possible, but it wasn't enough to erase the past. Three years later, it was your oldest son who was near the end. You rushed to his side, thinking only of yourself first. You were sure to express how upset you were and how it wasn't fair that you had to loose another son. You did not think about what the rest of us were losing- a husband and a father.

You and your favorite child started to plot against those who were well- finding a way to get your greedy hands on everything and anything. The two of you took privacy away from us, and tried to take all the time he had left to yourself. You told us, "He needs rest, leave him be" while you sat by his side and tried to talk to him. He would tell you to "Be quiet" or "Go away" because deep down, he knew that you were trying to make things right. He didn't want anything to do with it, and wanted his family close.

Finally, the pain and suffering were almost over. It was the last day that we would spend with him, and had not heard him speak in two days. That weekend was full of exhaustion, both mentally and physically. The both of you were there, telling the Nurses and Doctor's what to do, while talking to each other nonstop. People were visiting and saying their final goodbyes, while the two of you sat like bumps on a log in your own little world. You knitted, talked on the phones to your loved ones at home, and didn't talk to anyone but one another. You were cold, cruel, and disrespectful to the man lying in bed that you claimed to 'love'.

His final breaths were coming from his lips, and I received the call that I needed to say my own 'Goodbye'. I walked into the room, unprepared of what I would see. It was him and two of you, and two of us. A room divided between a man you claimed to care for, and that two of us would switch spots with in a heartbeat. I kissed his cheek, and held his hand and whispered something in his ear that was between the two of us. All I could hear was you, repeating, "It's okay, you can let go now". That is the final memory I have of my last moments with him; you obnoxiously making it all about you, once again.

We laid him to rest and the two of you spent the day sitting beside one another, while my family offered you their condolences. The both of you offered them the cold shoulder, and I knew in that moment that you were two of the most heartless people I have ever met. Neither of you asked how any of us were; we all lost someone that day who impacted our lives for the better, and whose presence would leave a hole in our family. The service was over and the both of you left. I have not seen either of you since that day.

Now, almost 5 years later, you are taking my home away from me out of your own selfishness and greed. A home that was purchased for my family, so that we would be provided for once my father was gone. It's unfathomable to me that the two of you can leave a family of three homeless, and take the memories we made in this home while he was in it as well. Once again, you can only think of yourself. I have thought time and time again of reaching out to you and begging for some small hope that you wouldn't do this to them; I could care less about what happens to me.

I have thought about how heartless, cruel, and terrible you are- all of you. None of you care for me and my family, or love us. There is no way you could love us, because of what you are doing. There is no way that you loved him either, or else you wouldn't be doing this. I do not answer your cards for a reason. It's a slap in the face when you ask to hear from me and my brother. Why would we want to speak to someone as terrible as you?

I do not wish to speak to any of you. You can say it's out of anger; and you would be right to a point. No, 'she' did not tell us to; because I'm sure that's a thought in your mind often. You will not be invited to know what is occurring in our lives, and you certainty will never hear from me again.

Save yourself the price of a stamp, save yourself the words, and move on. Leave me alone, and let me pretend that I'm not related to you at all.

As far as I'm concerned, I lived through twenty-two years of your junk and I'll be fine living twenty-two more years without it.

Thanks for leaving me behind, because you've done me more good than harm.

Sincerely,

Another family member you can consider gone