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The Best "Family Guy" Characters Ranked

How do you rank perfection?

Sydney Schmidt

Aug 24, 2017

College of Charleston

3060

Fox

"Family Guy" is one of the best television programs of our time. I never thought that I would be a fan of adult cartoons until I heard Peter Griffin's scratchy voice calling out to his wife. If you don't like "Family Guy", you are probably just wrong. As a "Family Guy' enthusiast, I have determined the definitive ranking of the shows best characters.

9. Quagmire

I feel like Quagmire would be much more likable if he didn't give off such perverted vibes. I don't know how he has the power to make me so uncomfortable through a tv screen.

Best quotation: "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity"

8. Cleveland

Cleveland I loved you, but then you left me and I can never forgive you for that. And no one stopped watching when you left...so guess you never really mattered?

Best quotation: "It's sad when planes 'splode"

7. Joe

Okay does anyone else find Joe's voice extremely comforting? Like is that you Morgan Freeman? And if you don't like Joe, then you obviously are prejudice against disabled people.

Best quotation: "I just suggested a line of handicapable toys - ya know, to show the kids the fun of being physically challenged"

6. Meg

Definitefy the worst member of the Griffin family, but not everyone can be a winner Meg. It's bad when even your mom doesn't like you.

Best quotation: "I've never even been in a picture before"

5. Lois

Have you ever heard that the mother holds the family together? Well this is definitely true for the Griffin family.

Best quotation: "Remember, if you screw this up, mommy's going to kill all of your toys"

4. Chris

There is just something about Chris that really speaks to me. I definitely think he is the most underrated character on this show.

Best quotation: " I tucked it between my legs as a joke and then it got stuck."

3. Peter

Some would be surprised that Peter is not ranked number one because he has the most memorable quotes from the show. But Peter does not hold the show together like the characters in the top two spots.

Best quotation: "You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert"

2. Brian

Anyone that owns a dog would totally understand why Brian is ranked so high. And a dog that can tell jokes and be a world famous writer? No wonder I cried when he died for those two episodes.

Best quotations: "Her fists are so dangerous she's not allowed to be a lesbian"

1. Stewie

I love everything about Stewie, there is something about a baby that says incredibly inappropriate things that just makes everyone laugh. I will only have a kid if he turns out exactly like Stewie.

Best quotation: "Damn you vile woman, you've impeded my work since the day I escaped your vile womb"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Best "Family Guy" Characters Ranked

How do you rank perfection?

9. Quagmire

8. Cleveland

7. Joe

6. Meg

5. Lois

4. Chris

3. Peter

2. Brian

1. Stewie

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For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

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