Here goes nothing. Weight has always been an issue of mine and trust me even though most of us feel this way, I have been feeling it more than ever nowadays. Social media has put out this standard that we have to have the perfect body to be beautiful. I have come to realize that I will probably never meet that standard and have accepted that. Growing up, I have always been on the heavier side. I would look at the other girls I grew up with and wonder why I couldn't look like them. I just wanted to be skinny. To be beautiful. To be liked by my friends. To be liked by boys. I never felt adequate, most times I don't.

Of course this is probably a insecurity issue, in fact, I know it is. Every girl has their insecurities, so I'm not asking for pity. I want to be me, all of me, all of my extra baggage and weight. Is this a motivation issue? Probably. Is this an overeating issue? Most likely. Some days I sit around crying and feeling sorry for myself because I don't like what I see in the mirror. Let's be honest, I could probably change a million things about myself to make myself better. But, that's when I need to stop and think. God made me for me, and He made me unique from everyone else. This is something that we all need to remember. Yes, we could change things about us, but does that really make us a better person? It's until we look on the inside and accept who we are and who we become.

Tonight after working out, I found myself praying in the car. It was just like a conversation with God. Easy right? Not always. Lately with school, work, and other responsibilities I lack motivation to get out of bed and start my day, let alone muster up the energy to workout for my health. I will splurge on the extra chocolate during my break or treat myself to an unhealthy meal. I will lay in bed and just say, "Ehh, I'll workout tomorrow; that is when I will start." And nevertheless, that day gets pushed back more and more. As embarrassing as this is to admit, I could hardly run a mile tonight. I could give up and just be content with where I'm at, but what good is that? I want to be healthy for my future. Not necessarily do I need to be the perfect body type, but I want to be healthy for myself and for whatever work God wants me to do. So, back to my praying in the car. I realized that I can try to do this all alone. Heck, I have tried this for practically the whole school year. But, look where I am. I haven't made progress like I have wanted to. I prayed to God to ask Him to help me. To help me chose better options of food, to have the motivation to workout to my full potential, and to love who I am in the process. All of this I owe to God. He gave me life, He made me in the likeness of image, so I owe it to Him to respect and take care of the body He gave me. And so should you! If you find yourself where I am in your life, take the pledge. Dive into this journey with me. It will not be easy, I know. But, it will be worth it. And when all is said and done, we have only one person to owe it to; God.

So, this is the prayer I pray to God asking for help. You can join in me with it (if you feel moved to do so).

Dear Lord, I ask that you put out the negative thoughts of my conscious and to flood my mind with positivity. I cannot compare myself to those around me, but to who I was a day ago. I pray to focus only on my personal growth and the growth of those around me; encouraging them every step of the way. I know that I can't do anything without your help. I can try, but I will constantly fall short. I need your help. Please help me to make decisions that are healthy and wholesome. Help me find the motivation to exercise the body you have blessed me with. Help me to balance my life and to not become to focused on one thing to forget the next. I ask that you put in me a new spirit to honor you and to use my body to fulfill your will. Whatever you have planned for me, just know that I want to be fully able to do so. I pray that you bless my friends that are reading this now. That they find the same spirit renewed within them. Give them a loving embrace to know that you are with them every step of the way. We may falter, but you are there by our side to pick us up when we fall, because you love us unconditionally. We are so lucky to have a gracious and loving God, as you. We do not deserve it, but you constantly give us a place to come back home to. Thank you for giving us that home. Thank you for giving us our earthly blessings, even though we owe it all to you. Lord, thank you for the breath you have given us every morning when we rise and every night as we sleep. Please be with us during our journeys and remind us who we owe it all to. Amen.

(Side note- one of my friends told me about this awesome app you can use if you have a Fitbit. The first one is called Charity Miles. Every mile you run, you can donate funds to an organization, just by running! How cool is that? You can make a difference in your life and in others' lives just by your miles.)

Have a great rest of your week everyone! I hope you find the motivation in you to accomplish whatever you have your mind set on. And if you don't, there is always someone there to help you along the way!