Growing up, sports were my thing. I loved everything about athletics. I played for the competition, the energy, and the friendships that came along with it. Athletics built up my confidence and taught me the importance of working toward your goals. I learned that the effort that I put in during practices were the results I saw during competition. I liked being fast, strong and coordinated. All of this spilled into other aspects of my life as well. My drive in sports carried over into my schoolwork. My work ethic and determination in practices shined through when working toward other goals in life. Athletics taught me a lot, but perhaps the most important lesson was independence.
While I participated in my fair share of team sports, like basketball, soccer and lacrosse, an individual sport had my heart. Swimming was my passion. At an early age, I realized swim team was the sport for me. I loved being in the water. I began at my local summer club team and eventually joined USA Swimming in middle school. My love for the sport was obvious to all my friends and family. For years, I saw a future in swimming.
My parents invested time and money into the sport. They were ready and willing to purchase top-of-the-line racing suits and spend their days driving me to and from practice and meets. Whether that meant dragging my eight-year-old brother to 5:30 a.m. practices or traveling for hours and hours on weekends to swim meets, my parents prioritized my priorities.
Eventually, the long hours and constant travel from school to practice and back again wore on me. Once I reached high school, I was falling asleep in my classes. I was crying on weekends when I couldn’t spend any time with my hometown friends and I realized I was losing them. My life had become swimming. I wasn’t happy anymore. I wasn’t enjoying my teenage years. I was in a routine that had taken its toll on me and I wanted out.
I came to the realization that I wasn’t going to have the kind of successful future I had planned in swimming. My passion was burning out. I missed other sports, I missed my other friends, and I missed having free time. I didn’t want to go to college for a sport; I wanted to go to college for academics. The summer after my freshman year of high school I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I chose to give up swimming and so I chose to give up my future in it.
It was far from an easy decision and it was against the wishes of my dad. While my mother saw the importance of academics in college, my father saw the benefits of athletics. He offered me a new car if I earned a full scholarship through swimming. I still said no. I knew the path I wanted to take in life, and it was not one in which swimming ruled.
Perhaps the most reassuring moment during this process was one that I had feared the most: telling my USA Swim coach that I was not going to continue on. I sat down with him after my last race at our championship swim meet. I had never been more nervous for a conversation. I explained to him that I had other aspirations I wanted to explore and sports to which I wanted to return. He looked at me and told me he was proud that I was able to come to a decision like that, that it said something about my person that I know myself well enough to know what I truly want.
I continued to swim for my high school swim team and my summer club team, but I knew I would never return the level I once was. I have never looked back in regret with my decision. I know I would not be at the school I am at or have the experiences I have if I had chosen to stay involved in something I know longer felt strongly about. A decision like this one was life altering for me, and although it was against the wishes of one of the most important people in my life, I would make it the same all over again.
