The concept of falling in love, as told by our parents, is expressed through all the cinematic cliches. You'll have butterflies in your stomach, your heart will skip a beat at the sight of your loved one, and you won't be able to stop thinking about them––no matter how hard you try.
I came to the realization that there's one thing that my parents never told me about falling in love, you learn a lot about falling in love with someone when you fall out of love. Love itself is a problematic concept, but it's such a beautiful, bittersweet feeling.
Falling out of love with someone is a self-reflective moment, almost an epiphanic "oh shit" moment. Suddenly, the sunshine on your cloudy day is the rain pouring on you. People change, you change; and as time goes on, the person you fell in love with isn't entirely there anymore. You begin to realize that you're in love with the idea of them.
People fall out of love all the time and you aren't a monster for feeling the way you feel. Not everyone you get into a relationship with is going to be your soulmate and the sooner you accept that, the easier it will be to address your feelings to your significant other.
There's a misconception that falling out of love with someone equates to the idea that one no longer cares for you at all, which is an absolutely false assumption. Of course, I don't speak for everyone, but I think a majority of people would agree that falling out of love feels like a mournful process. Nobody falls in love with someone with the intentions of falling out of love with them.
At first, you may be indenial––you were once madly in love with this person––maybe you're having a bad day and you think it's influencing you to feel differently. (maybe that bad day turns into many bad days.) Maybe you were never in love in the first place but an overextended infatuated state. Maybe you've grown into a better version of yourself and think you deserve better. Maybe the reasons you fell in love with them in the first place no longer stands. Whatever reason it may be, it happens, and it sucks, but it happens.
Your parents will tell you how great it will feel to experience falling in love with someone but won't stress enough how you will feel once you fall out of love with someone. It's a normal process where you will learn more about yourself than you would imagine; you learn what you want and don't want in future relationships, who you are as a significant other or who you are as an individual, your newfound self-love will be empowering, etc.
The lessons you experience after falling out of love with someone are limitless and inevitable but will make you a better lover in the future.
