Wiz Khalifa once said, “Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean I don’t think about you. I’m just trying to distance myself from you because I know I can’t have you.” I find myself thinking about this certain quote more and more, and thinking about how true it is if you’ve experienced wanting someone you absolutely cannot have. It’s one of the hardest things to wrap your head around.
For me, I didn’t even realize I was in love with you. My best friend is the one who told me. I brushed it off thinking she was crazy, but the more I thought about it, the sooner I figured out she was right. I knew that we could never be together the way I wanted to so I thought being just friends with you would be okay. Well, that completely backfired.
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This has been an ongoing battle for me for the past 4 years. It wasn’t until just recently that reality set it for me. Unfortunately, I have to stop talking to you in general. I still have feelings for you and I still want you every day. I can’t put my heart through this anymore. I try to act happy when you find girls that you like, but deep down, I burn with jealousy and desire. I try to be your friend and we have small talk about work and family, and for those few moments, everything is great. Then my mind wanders and I’m reminded for the 8th time that day, that we will never be together. I thought not talking to you would be the worst thing in the world, but it’s not. The worst thing in the world is to still be friends with you when I still have feelings for you. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over you, but I think not talking to you would be a good start.
I don’t mean to be selfish, but I need to do this for me. I hope you can understand where I’m coming from, and I hope you realize it’s the right thing for me to do. I’m hoping that one day we can go back to normal and I can be friends with you without wanting to be with you. I love you, and I’ll always be wishing you the best.
All my love,
The girl you never wanted.
