I don't know how many people share this sentiment with me, but I frequently find myself feeling as though I'm falling behind. Trailing behind my peers in terms of success, and lagging behind my own expectations that I had set for myself. I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be, both by external and internal standards. But I want to share this struggle with anyone else that may be feeling this way because even if I can't say my or your straggling isn't true, it doesn't signify the end of our world.
Since I was young I thought I would follow a very straightforward life plan. I didn't find it too ambitious and I had most of my life mapped out. This is one time in my life I feel like an oddity. My life has strayed far away from the path I had drawn as well as the lives I see my peers live. I can't help but think that I should be like them. Most people will want to say that change is good. Falling behind isn't a bad thing and that it's something to embrace. I disagree. I don't tell myself nor do I want to tell you that falling behind is okay or that it's good, I want to say that it isn't over. My last article talked about how quickly time passes. It makes good times disappear but it makes difficult times fade away as well. You may feel like you're falling behind but before you know it things will pick up, whether the world decides it's time to or when you do. In a world that's constantly moving forward, even remaining stagnant equals falling behind since everything and everyone keeps advancing. While it's easier to just tell myself this is good and it makes me special or sets me apart from everyone else that blindly follows the natural flow of time, I realized this self pity and consolation does absolutely nothing. I realized what I truly needed was a good hard look at myself and my situation. What I ultimately learned is that I don't need to pretend my situation is good, what I need is to face it. The present isn't bright but fact is it isn't the end. I don't need to tell myself that trailing behind is a good thing to accept that I can still move on with my life, just like everyone else.
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To anyone and everyone that feels inadequate in the present, don't settle. It feels bad but the situation is bad. Falling behind has never been a good thing whether it's academically or in the larger aspects of the world. It isn't time to change that mentality at all. What's truly important is to not let accepting that we're in a bad position subdue our ambitions to move forward because who knows, one day when you get back on your feet maybe you'll dash forward instead of walk. You'll still travel at a different pace than everyone else but this time you'll perceive this difference as a positive one and when that time comes, it's important to see it as such; just as it's important to see the bad times for how they are.
