It happens to all of us.
You play a sport for so long that you eventually begin to wonder why you're playing anymore.
You start to question whether all the grueling conditioning and early morning wake up calls for practice are really worth it; and while this phase can be really hard to go through, it is a necessary part of playing the game.
But they say every athlete dies twice.
The truth is that if at some point you don't consider quitting, then you probably aren't working hard enough. Think about why you started playing this sport to begin with. Sure, it may have started out as just another fun thing to do with your friends, but if you've kept with it this long, it's probably because you love the challenges it brings to your life.
Believe it or not, athletes love the struggle of pushing themselves. If it was easy, you wouldn't have to put this much time into it. Something that is this hard physically, mentally, and emotionally is going to push you to your breaking point; but the good news is that what seems like your breaking point will actually become your greatest strength.
Overcoming obstacles for something you love isn't just a part of sports. It's a part of life. When you look adversity in the eye and defeat it, then the love you have for whatever you were fighting for only increases. If you've gone through the phase of wanting to quit playing and questioning why you're doing this anymore and you manage to come out the other side, then it gives you a greater appreciation for what you're doing. Any athlete will tell you, passion is the name of the game. It's not always about who's the strongest or most talented player on the court. It's about who wants it the most. When you get to the point where you want it enough to not only accept the doubts you have, but also answer them with even more determination, there is no opponent that could ever get in your way.
When you fall out of love with your sport, it can feel like a part of your life has ended. And that's because it has. In the end, we all have to hang up our shoes (or in my case, my knee pads) at some point. But your love for the game isn't shown by when you chose to stop playing, but how you go about it.
Some people don't end their athletic careers in a fulfilling and peaceful way. There are plenty of athletes who fall out of love with the game and never find their way back to it. I can say personally that I've gone through the phases of falling in and out of love with the game more than a few times. But what really changed the way I thought about my sport was when I finally realized that it really isn't about winning or losing at all. It's not enough about how much playing time you get. It's about doing something you love every day and never taking that for granted.
High level sports are so hard because they aren't about having fun. They're a business. When athlete's reach this point of playing the game, that's when most forget why they're really playing at all.
In the end, I realized that even though volleyball is an important part of my life, how well I perform at it will have absolutely no affect on the parts of my life that are even more important.
My family won't love me any less if I'm not in the starting line up every game. My future employer will probably not even know what a libero is. And my faith life will not be shaken if I spend more time on the bench than I do on the court. But I do know that my mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical health will be dramatically better if I'm actually enjoying what I'm doing. If I go for it with everything I have and then can honestly walk away knowing I wouldn't have done a single thing differently.
I fell back in love with the game not because it got any easier, but because it reminded me of what's most important in life. It showed me that what's really most important will always be there. That progress is an amazing process to both watch and experience, and that the basic love of the game will take you farther than any special talents you may possess. I fell back in love with the game once I started letting my play reflect who I really am. Once I stopped trying and started just truly believing that I would get to all my goals when the time was right. I know now that whenever I chose to finally give up the game, I will walk away with a contentment and a pride for everything I had accomplishment. And more importantly, I will walk away excited for how it prepared me for whatever may come next.
