When you begin to lose touch with someone, your hands slowly start letting go. Your chest fills with fear, anxiety, and disbelief. You never really pay attention to the little things a person does or says until the little things are almost gone. You never really notice how out of touch you are until they bring it up, taking your heart into their palm, slowly squeezing it until you feel nothing left. You sit back and wonder, when did things start going wrong, how, where, what did I do? In reality, none of it is either of your faults. Somewhere along the path, you two lost touch, you two pulled apart, and you two began to let go.
What’s important is the decision you make: “Do we try again, or do we let go? Do we want to work?”
Sometimes, when you love so much, it’s hard to let go, so you just can’t help but try again. You put your faith into each other’s hands, take a deep breath, and pray just a bit, that somewhere down this path you fall in sync again.
Then magically, you both do.
Falling back in love has been both the scariest, yet most beautiful journey I’ve ever gone down.
There’s something special that happens when you fall back in love with the person you almost lost. Your heart begins to beat again, speeding up one beat at a time. Your hands begin to sweat as if it were your first-time holdings hands, and you can’t help but look down in embarrassment, wondering if they can feel your speeding pulse through your fingertips. Your cheeks begin to hurt all over again because you find yourself smiling and laughing again at the same jokes and phrases that once began to annoy you. You begin to feel comfortable again, resting your head on them, rubbing the top of their hand with your thumb, and thinking to yourself how lucky you are you didn’t let go.
You begin to smile again after each and every kiss, working your way to cloud nine as if every kiss is the first. You begin to plan out dates again, spending more time talking and texting, seeing each other more and more, without even realizing that the two of you are falling in love all over again.
You don’t know if it’ll work out the second time around, and that’s what’s so scary. You don’t know if you’re wasting your time, or if you’ll get your heart ripped out again. You don’t know if you’ll both hurt each other again without meaning to. The scariest part is asking if they still love you, and not being sure if they do or don’t.
When you choose to try again, to try and fall back in love, you allow yourself to be completely vulnerable, more so than when you two were first dating. You leave your chest wide open, leaving your heart to any knife or bullet may come your way, preparing for the worst.
But when it happens? When you two fall back in love? That’s the most beautiful moment of all. All the fears disappear, and every ‘I love you’ is more special than the last.
