We are so focused on finding love in other people instead of falling in love with ourselves, which is an extremely sad truth. As young women, we are forced to conform to society's standards of beauty which are nearly impossible. But what we don't notice are the great things about ourselves because we focus on our flaws, and only our flaws. I can promise you that EVERY single woman, even Jenner and Hadid have struggled with esteem problems, so you're not wrong or weird about the way you feel, you're just a female, and this is our blessing and our curse. To every girl out there struggling to love herself, I want you to know that I am struggling right by your side, but here are some ways that we can engage in self-love, even if they are small efforts...I promise they will help.
1. Keep A Journal of Your Positive Attributes
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Every day, when you wake up, write down some positive thoughts about yourself, even if it's been a bad morning make sure to write down at least one thing. On bad days you can go back and read these to remind yourself of how special you are.
2. Leave Positive Notes for Yourself
Buy some cute colorful sticky notes, write notes only giving off positive vibes, and place them on your mirrors. This way, every time you get ready to critique yourself, you have a little something to remind you that you don't have to.
3. Dress Up
Put on some clothes that make you feel like a powerful woman. Why not try on that crop top and skirt you bought last fall but threw in the back of your closet? Once you've done this, go out and take on the world one heel at a time.
4. Have a YOU Day
Plan a day for yourself at home for you to be with yourself. Engage in activities that raise your self-esteem, such doing your eyebrows, shaving with a nice essential oil, doing a facial mask, and/or deep conditioning your hair. There are SO MANY other ways to do this, but these are my go to's.
5. Work Out
This in my opinion is one of the best ways to boost confidence. When you workout you release endorphin giving you a high better than any drug thus making you feel extremely happy. I've had some pretty bad days that were turned around just by doing a simple thirty-minute workout.
6. Forgive Yourself
We all make mistakes, but some are harder to forgive than others, and I'm not talking about someone doing you wrong, but you doing yourself wrong. We are so hard on ourselves, but so easy to forgive another. Does that make any sense? When you make a mistake no matter how big or small, know that it was merely a learning experience, and it is not worth beating yourself up over. This has been one of my biggest problems growing up, I would beat myself up for an hour after for missing one serve in a volleyball game, or for getting a B+ instead of an A on an exam. That sounds dumb right? Right. Don't ever beat yourself up, and show yourself as much forgiveness as you show others.
7. Find A Place Where YOU are Happy
I know I know this sounds pretty cliché, but finding a "happy place" actually is a very healthy way to cope with "you" problems, or any problems. Find a place you can go to be alone to think, and to spend time alone out of your house. For example I have a place I go up the street from my house that I go whenever I'm feeling sad or down, and going there really helps to clear my mind.
8. Engage in "Retail Therapy"
Go to the store and purchase items that make you feel good about yourself, and while you're looking disregard the opinions of others and shop only to please yourself. Take advantage of Victoria Secret's 5 for 27 panties deal, pick up that new Anastasia Glow Kit from Sephora, and why not buy that dress you've been eyeing in the window for weeks?
7. Go Natural for A Day
Take a day or two out of every week to go out without any makeup on, and without doing your hair, and believe me when I say it'll make you feel more comfortable in your skin after you get used to it. Not only will you benefit mentally, but you will also benefit physically. Your skin will get a chance to breath, and your hair will be given a chance to retain some moisture without being ironed out.
8. Listen to Upbeat Music
On days where you feel awful play some music that only gives off positive vibes, so turn off The Fray and play some Britney Spears, and get make sure to get up and dance a little.
9. Eat What YOU Want to Eat
Eat foods that make you feel good about your body, like complex carbs, lots of vegetables, fruits, and lean meats, your body will thank you. But make sure you also treat yourself to foods you actually enjoy eating, because you deserve it. Lastly, remember that what you consume does not define you as a person, and that one donut you just ate is not going to add five pounds to your thighs.
I began by listing twenty ways in which we could all engage in self love, but narrowed it down to nine when I realized that all of you should come up with ways that you perform this very important action. I should not be the one to tell you how to love yourself, but the ways I listed above can sure help. Remember that you are beautiful, smart, worth it, and most importantly good enough. You are loved by everyone around you, but its about time that you start showing yourself the appreciation and love that you and only you deserve.
