“‘i love myself.’

the

quietest.

simplest.

most

powerful.

revolution.

ever."

- Nayyirah Waheed

The most important relationship you should always have is with yourself. Nothing should come before this relationship. In a world that is always trying to tell us otherwise, you must realize that loving yourself is the start of a whole new world. It’s a revolution that starts deep inside you.

So how do we get to this place in our lives where we love ourselves? Where we accept all of our flaws? When do we look in the mirror every day and begin to feel content with our reflections? As hard as it sounds, we don’t get to this place right away. Loving yourself is not found in the brightest of times when everything about you looks and feels amazing. It isn’t found when you do your makeup and hair perfectly or when you take a million selfies with your friends just to feel beautiful. Self love is found when you wake up in the morning with bags under your eyes after studying all night but still smile in the mirror. It’s when your hair is in a messy bun and you’re wearing sweatpants all day but you don’t feel the need to wear anything else. It’s all about balance. Loving yourself both ways. Good and bad. More importantly, we have to look past all of the physical aspects and love ourselves for who we truly are. Our hopes and dreams and what our souls truly yearn for. We have to live the life we want to, for ourselves. No one else.

This is a hard thing to do. Most of us strive for this goal of self acceptance and love but feel like the battle is just too hard. The road is too long with too many obstacles.

Hating yourself is the most dangerous path to fall into. When I started college, I struggled with self love so much that it made me depressed. Throughout high school and my freshman year of college, I didn’t drink and do drugs like my other friends. I would much rather explore the city, make art, and spend time with my family. I felt alone in this college-world where all anyone ever did was go out on the weekends and party the nights away. I went home almost every weekend only to cry to my parents that no one was like me. That I didn’t fit in with the college stereotype and I was trapped between wanting to be myself and trying to be someone I was not. I resented myself for not going out and drinking. I hated that I wasn’t “the fun one.” I was always labeled “the mom” of the friend group and would spend all night taking care of whatever friend needed my assistance because their livers couldn’t handle all of the poison they drank. I hated my life. I hated myself even more.

I wish I could tell you what sparked something inside of me one day. Maybe it was my soul growing, my recent breakup, or maybe God was finally answering all of my prayers. But one day I looked in the mirror and saw someone who deserved to be loved. Someone who strived for acceptance from everyone but themselves and needed self love most of all. I saw a girl with a future brighter than the lights in a dimly lit house party. I realized I did not need to drink away my sorrows or party the nights away to forget. I started to like becoming “mom,” because my friends needed someone to be there for them. Not everyone has to like going out. And not everyone has to like staying in. You are your own person. You make the rules for yourself and can do whatever you please. Do not listen to anyone else but yourself because only you know what you truly want.

I needed to lose myself in order to find myself. And I lost myself a lot along the way to accepting the person I truly am. It takes time to look in the mirror and love the reflection. I’m still not at that point and I don’t know if I ever will be. Some of us might not ever get there. But we need to take a step back and realize that we are all we have in this world. The moment we start to love ourselves from the inside out is the day that our lives will change for the better.

So take a deep breathe. Look in the mirror. Smile. You are beautiful. And you are worth it. Never, ever, forget that.