FAKE NEWS: Trump Ignites World War III | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics

FAKE NEWS: Trump Ignites World War III

Trump's tweets have officially crossed the line with another dangerous world leader.

233
FAKE NEWS: Trump Ignites World War III
Wikimedia Commons

LONDON, ENGLAND (Odyssey) - United States President Donald J. Trump has struck a match on the figurative tinder of the world's next massive, global conflict. In disturbing unity with Albert Einstein's famous quote, "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones," no one could have expected the weapons and battleground with which this war is being established - tweets on the popular social media app, Twitter.

Early Sunday morning, President Trump tweeted at North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, tempting the tiger to respond with force: "Kim Jong-un should be renamed Kim Jong-buffoon, absolutely terrible leader and he's not scaring anyone with his new ICBM's, they're probably about as short-range as his height is! Sad!"

Kim Jong-un himself is reported to have taken control of North Korea's official twitter account, which responded briefly to President Trump's tweet, saying: "I'll show you short-range, Chester the Cheetah."

Though a vague threat, and ironically written in short-form, the North Korean government have yet to follow up on it, though Washington is closely monitoring the situation.

In a surprising turn of events, Russian President, Vladimir Putin, has also chimed in on Twitter through his official account: "@realDonaldTrump Donny, sweetie... you're not going to respond to this weasel? Sad." Trump's thumbs warmed up to this, as the President then sent out a long thread of insults, false information, claims about political correctness ruining American society and even a tweet which contained a nonsensical word remiscent of "Covfefe" which was later deleted. The thread was meant to be aimed at Jong-un, but was clearly just the ramblings of an old, delusional man-child.

After Trump let his screen rest, Putin sent a response which tagged the North Korean page, saying only: "Ha ha ha... I told you I could get him going, Kim. You owe me five rubles. Putin, out." Jong-un responded through the North Korean page, using three of the "crying-laughing" emojis, a bomb emoji and a clock emoji. American agencies are working to decode the North Korean Supreme Leader's ominous tweet, looking for any hints in the clock emoji at a timeline for when they could launch the first missiles of the war.

The end of this 2017 version of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand came when Trump tweeted one last time, writing: "Kim, if you try us, we will try you right back. And Puty, that was mean. Why are you always picking on me? Maybe we'll try you too, Russia! (Call me, xo)."

After witnessing what could be the most immature and confusing beginnings to an international conflict with potentially millions of lives at stake, this reporter cannot help but think of Drake's immortal lyrics, "Trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers."

- Spencer Cowley, Odyssey

This article is completely satirical. If you read it as serious, don't feel bad, nobody would be that surprised.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

15 Times Michael Scott's Life Was Worse Than Your Life

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

403
Michael Scott
NBC

Most of the time, the world's (self-proclaimed) greatest boss is just that, the greatest. I mean, come on, he's Michael Freakin' Scott after all! But every once in a while, his life hits a bit of a speed bump. (or he actually hits Meredith...) So if you personally are struggling through a hard time, you know what they say: misery loves company! Here are 15 times Michael Scott's life was worse than your life:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

15336
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

3136
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments