FAKE NEWS: Trump Ignites World War III | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics

FAKE NEWS: Trump Ignites World War III

Trump's tweets have officially crossed the line with another dangerous world leader.

233
FAKE NEWS: Trump Ignites World War III
Wikimedia Commons

LONDON, ENGLAND (Odyssey) - United States President Donald J. Trump has struck a match on the figurative tinder of the world's next massive, global conflict. In disturbing unity with Albert Einstein's famous quote, "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones," no one could have expected the weapons and battleground with which this war is being established - tweets on the popular social media app, Twitter.

Early Sunday morning, President Trump tweeted at North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un, tempting the tiger to respond with force: "Kim Jong-un should be renamed Kim Jong-buffoon, absolutely terrible leader and he's not scaring anyone with his new ICBM's, they're probably about as short-range as his height is! Sad!"

Kim Jong-un himself is reported to have taken control of North Korea's official twitter account, which responded briefly to President Trump's tweet, saying: "I'll show you short-range, Chester the Cheetah."

Though a vague threat, and ironically written in short-form, the North Korean government have yet to follow up on it, though Washington is closely monitoring the situation.

In a surprising turn of events, Russian President, Vladimir Putin, has also chimed in on Twitter through his official account: "@realDonaldTrump Donny, sweetie... you're not going to respond to this weasel? Sad." Trump's thumbs warmed up to this, as the President then sent out a long thread of insults, false information, claims about political correctness ruining American society and even a tweet which contained a nonsensical word remiscent of "Covfefe" which was later deleted. The thread was meant to be aimed at Jong-un, but was clearly just the ramblings of an old, delusional man-child.

After Trump let his screen rest, Putin sent a response which tagged the North Korean page, saying only: "Ha ha ha... I told you I could get him going, Kim. You owe me five rubles. Putin, out." Jong-un responded through the North Korean page, using three of the "crying-laughing" emojis, a bomb emoji and a clock emoji. American agencies are working to decode the North Korean Supreme Leader's ominous tweet, looking for any hints in the clock emoji at a timeline for when they could launch the first missiles of the war.

The end of this 2017 version of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand came when Trump tweeted one last time, writing: "Kim, if you try us, we will try you right back. And Puty, that was mean. Why are you always picking on me? Maybe we'll try you too, Russia! (Call me, xo)."

After witnessing what could be the most immature and confusing beginnings to an international conflict with potentially millions of lives at stake, this reporter cannot help but think of Drake's immortal lyrics, "Trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers."

- Spencer Cowley, Odyssey

This article is completely satirical. If you read it as serious, don't feel bad, nobody would be that surprised.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
retail
Chor Ip / Flickr

I'm sure, like me, many of you received lots of gift cards over the holidays. After working retail seasonally, here are a few tips that I learned in order to make the employees at your favorite store just a little happier and not want to charge you extra on your purchase for being awful. Here are some times when you should be nicer to retail workers than you actually are!

Keep Reading...Show less
5 Untold Struggles Of The Short Friend

I'm the Short Friend. I've been the Short Friend since about the seventh grade. I'm the one who stands in the front of the photos, gets made fun of for their height, and still shops in the kids department.

This article is not for the Almost Short Friends, i.e. the 5'3" and 5'4" Friends. No no, this is for the Actually Short Friends, i.e. the Barely Scraping 5'1" and shorter Short Friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
fall
Pixabay

Myers/Briggs personalty types are a common psychological assessment that has gone mainstream in recent years and most people know theirs.

If you don’t, check it out

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Thoughts You Have When You're Late to Your 9 AM (Again)

It's a daily struggle to make it on time, but everyone has those days where they just...don't.

1143
man running down on desert

You tried your best to avoid it, but that one statistics class that you need to take in order to graduate was only offered at 9 AM. Sound familiar? Now it's a daily struggle to make it on time, but everyone has those days where they just...don't. If that sounds relatable, then you may have experienced some (or all) of these thoughts.

Keep Reading...Show less
11 Things All Call Center Workers Can Empathize With Better Than Anyone
Youtube

This semester I started my journey as a member of my University's Alumni Outreach Team. This means a lot of things, but primarily it means that I get to make phone calls to parents and alumni two nights a week to update contact information, collect things like business cards and volunteer hours, and even ask for money.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments